﻿1
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Previously on "The Last Man on Earth".

2
00:00:02,135 --> 00:00:04,598
The fate of the human
race is depending on us.

3
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Just say what you're trying to say.

4
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Repopulation, you dumb donkey.

5
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I'm not gonna have sex
with you unless we're married.

6
00:00:09,904 --> 00:00:11,391
Fine. Will you marry me?

7
00:00:11,392 --> 00:00:12,951
- Yes, I will!
- You will?

8
00:00:12,952 --> 00:00:14,216
- Yes!
- Oh!

9
00:00:24,152 --> 00:00:28,088
Do you, Carol, take me, Phil,

10
00:00:28,089 --> 00:00:29,856
- to be your husband?
- Yes, I do.

11
00:00:29,857 --> 00:00:31,224
And do you,

12
00:00:31,225 --> 00:00:33,392
Phil, take me, Carol, to be your wife?

13
00:00:41,269 --> 00:00:42,768
Hmm?

14
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I do?

15
00:00:45,907 --> 00:00:47,339
Oh.

16
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It's official.

17
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We're married!

18
00:00:51,446 --> 00:00:53,013
Aren't you excited?

19
00:00:53,014 --> 00:00:55,048
It's a friggin' fairy tale.

20
00:00:55,049 --> 00:00:57,017
(Chuckles) Oh, Hardy har har, Phil.

21
00:00:57,018 --> 00:00:58,852
What? I'm-I'm sorry. It's just...

22
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I mean, this is so stupid.

23
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I mean, why do we have to cling to

24
00:01:03,057 --> 00:01:04,624
the old traditions, huh?

25
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We're the last two people on earth.

26
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(Laughs) No, we're not, silly.

27
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(Cheering)

28
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(Laughing)

29
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♪ ♪

30
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(Laughing)

31
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No...!

32
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(Gasps)

33
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Everyone's still dead.

34
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Oh, thank God.

35
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(Sighs)

36
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(Knocking)

37
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Knockety, knock, knock knock, knock!

38
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Yeah, uh, heard the actual knocks, too.

39
00:01:49,403 --> 00:01:51,571
Well, I'd say, "are you decent?"

40
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But I know that you never are.

41
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Zing! Hee Hee Hee Hee.

42
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Sorry to roast you so hard.

43
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I made you a special meal

44
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in honor of our wedding tomorrow. (Sighs)

45
00:01:59,580 --> 00:02:02,082
Think you could clear off all
your dirty little magazines

46
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for me so we could eat?

47
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Uh... sure.

48
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You know all these girls were molested.

49
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So, Phil, I was thinking...

50
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Since the President of
the United States is dead

51
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and we're the last two people on earth,

52
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one of us should probably be the
President of the United States.

53
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Fine, Carol.

54
00:02:19,801 --> 00:02:20,934
You be the President.

55
00:02:20,935 --> 00:02:24,004
That is so sweet, but I could never.

56
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I have a fear of public speaking.

57
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Fine, Carol, I'm the President.

58
00:02:28,709 --> 00:02:30,477
I don't know, we should
probably have a vote.

59
00:02:30,478 --> 00:02:32,646
Okay, let's have a vote.

60
00:02:32,647 --> 00:02:34,481
Like secret ballot?

61
00:02:34,482 --> 00:02:36,116
Whatever you want.

62
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(Whispers): I vote for you.

63
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(Whispers): I vote for me, too.

64
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Well, it's unanimous!

65
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(Laughs)

66
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I don't think that's ever happened before.

67
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Aren't you excited?

68
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I'm so jazzed.

69
00:02:49,564 --> 00:02:52,999
Now, I made you a very special dish.

70
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It's spaghetti, but instead of meatballs,

71
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it's Raisin Balls.

72
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Hmm?

73
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They look the same,

74
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but they taste very different.

75
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There's more here,

76
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if you don't feel like you got enough.

77
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No, that's... this is a good portion.

78
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Do you want to know what they symbolize?

79
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Uh...

80
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Yes.

81
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So I'm the kind of gal

82
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who tries to make the best of things.

83
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And since meatballs

84
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will never, ever exist again,

85
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I said, "Carol, get your hands up,

86
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"grab some raisins,

87
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and you smash them into a ball, girl."

88
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Yeah.

89
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Carol, are you really
gonna make us get married?

90
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Do you want the earth to be littered

91
00:03:40,248 --> 00:03:42,249
with dozens of bastard
children? Didn't think so.

92
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You didn't give me time to answer that.

93
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Phil, the wedding is happening,

94
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so let's just make it nice.

95
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Now, I'm taking care of

96
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the whole shebang.

97
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I just need you to do one thing for me.

98
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I need you to get the rings.

99
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That's it.

100
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(Sighs)

101
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I'll get the rings.

102
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Great.

103
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I know we're not each other's soul mates...

104
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Parentheses meatballs...

105
00:04:03,471 --> 00:04:05,572
But if we give it a little effort,

106
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perhaps we can make it work, huh?

107
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Parentheses Raisin Balls.

108
00:04:08,509 --> 00:04:10,477
So we might as well dig
in to the Raisin Balls...

109
00:04:10,478 --> 00:04:11,977
Parentheses life... we've been given.

110
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Mmm...

111
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(Mumbling)

112
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These don't...

113
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These have turned.

114
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Hmm.

115
00:04:21,122 --> 00:04:23,223
You might want to just
eat around them. Yeah.

116
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Thank you for the warning.

117
00:04:24,392 --> 00:04:26,326
Now, take this walkie-talkie here

118
00:04:26,327 --> 00:04:27,627
in case you need to

119
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get ahold of me, or vice versa,

120
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'cause I'm gonna be working like crazy

121
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to pull this off.

122
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You know what? We should do
a quick walkie check, I think.

123
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Go for Carol.

124
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Go for Carol.

125
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(Whispering): Phil, go for me.

126
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Go for Phil.

127
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It works.

128
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Okay, I'm gonna leave you alone,

129
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'cause it's your last night as a free man.

130
00:04:50,751 --> 00:04:52,552
Probably want to...

131
00:04:52,553 --> 00:04:55,488
Masturbate to your magazines and such.

132
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But I just want you to know...

133
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I'm gonna make a really great wife.

134
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I'm sure you will, Carol.

135
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Bye-bye.

136
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All right, craftworks.

137
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Let's plan a wedding.

138
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♪ ♪

139
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Now this is a bachelor party, huh?

140
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To the death of my single life.

141
00:05:39,718 --> 00:05:40,884
Uh... oh, Gary!

142
00:05:40,885 --> 00:05:42,286
Looks like you need a little heater there.

143
00:05:42,287 --> 00:05:43,754
Let's see.

144
00:05:43,755 --> 00:05:46,056
Oh, Kevin, I'm so sorry!

145
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♪ She's wearing my ring ♪

146
00:05:48,927 --> 00:05:51,729
♪ Though not made of gold ♪

147
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♪ It tells me she's mine ♪

148
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♪ To have and hold ♪

149
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♪ A little thin band ♪

150
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♪ Her finger, left hand ♪

151
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♪ A dime store wedding ring ♪

152
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♪ It tells me our love ♪

153
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♪ Is young and strong ♪

154
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♪ That a love so sweet ♪

155
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♪ Could never, never, never go wrong ♪

156
00:06:21,893 --> 00:06:27,731
♪ Could never, never, never go wrong ♪

157
00:06:27,732 --> 00:06:29,833
♪ Could never, never, never go wrong. ♪

158
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That's how you get rid of lice.

159
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Carol (Over walkie-talkie):
Phil. Come in, Phil.

160
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Go for Carol.

161
00:06:35,006 --> 00:06:36,474
Phil, Carol here.

162
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Go for Carol.

163
00:06:37,476 --> 00:06:39,310
Come on, I know you can hear me.

164
00:06:39,311 --> 00:06:40,578
Go for me.

165
00:06:40,579 --> 00:06:44,248
Go for Carol. Go for Carol!

166
00:06:44,249 --> 00:06:45,249
What, Carol?

167
00:06:45,250 --> 00:06:47,551
don't you mean "go for Phil"?

168
00:06:47,552 --> 00:06:49,019
Go for Phil.

169
00:06:49,020 --> 00:06:50,321
Did you get the wedding rings yet? Over.

170
00:06:50,322 --> 00:06:51,822
Not yet.

171
00:06:51,823 --> 00:06:52,890
Why not? Over.

172
00:06:52,891 --> 00:06:54,558
I've been very busy, Carol.

173
00:06:54,559 --> 00:06:57,094
Are you really busy, Phil? Be honest. Over.

174
00:06:57,095 --> 00:06:59,263
I am very busy, Carol.

175
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Busy burning wigs? Over.

176
00:07:20,051 --> 00:07:21,619
Hey.

177
00:07:21,620 --> 00:07:23,687
I haven't seen you since we ended things.

178
00:07:23,688 --> 00:07:25,823
Uh... you seeing anybody?

179
00:07:25,824 --> 00:07:27,957
Actually, never mind. I don't want to know.

180
00:07:29,694 --> 00:07:31,462
So I'm kind of on my bachelor party.

181
00:07:31,463 --> 00:07:34,198
Uh, got the whole wolf pack here.

182
00:07:34,199 --> 00:07:36,534
Yeah. Getting married.

183
00:07:36,535 --> 00:07:38,102
(Chuckles) Today.

184
00:07:38,103 --> 00:07:40,171
I don't know if that's as emotional

185
00:07:40,172 --> 00:07:42,706
for mannequins as it is
for humans, but, uh...

186
00:07:42,707 --> 00:07:45,409
I thought that you should know.

187
00:07:45,410 --> 00:07:47,545
Her name is Carol.

188
00:07:47,546 --> 00:07:49,280
And she's definitely not the one.

189
00:07:49,281 --> 00:07:51,415
I mean, she's the last woman
on the face of the earth,

190
00:07:51,416 --> 00:07:53,417
so technically she's the one.

191
00:07:53,418 --> 00:07:55,619
But she's not<i> the one</i> the one.

192
00:07:55,620 --> 00:07:56,754
You know what I mean?

193
00:07:56,755 --> 00:07:58,489
Anyway...

194
00:07:58,490 --> 00:08:00,723
You're very special to me and...

195
00:08:05,530 --> 00:08:07,530
I don't want to be that guy.

196
00:08:08,533 --> 00:08:09,799
I don't want to be that guy.

197
00:08:12,003 --> 00:08:14,003
(Bells chiming Mendelssohn's
"wedding march")

198
00:08:40,165 --> 00:08:41,865
Carol: Press "play" on the boom box!

199
00:08:41,866 --> 00:08:44,034
And remember to smile.

200
00:08:44,035 --> 00:08:46,736
Yep. Saw your note.

201
00:08:53,078 --> 00:08:55,745
(Mendelssohn's "wedding march" begins)

202
00:08:57,082 --> 00:08:58,916
It's started!

203
00:08:58,917 --> 00:09:00,284
- Can you hear it?
- Carol: Shh!

204
00:09:00,285 --> 00:09:02,485
I'm waiting for my
entrance. I timed it out!

205
00:09:06,057 --> 00:09:08,057
♪ ♪

206
00:09:19,271 --> 00:09:21,572
Carol (Over recording):
We are gathered here today

207
00:09:21,573 --> 00:09:23,474
to join Philip Miller

208
00:09:23,475 --> 00:09:26,176
and Carol Pilbasian in holy matrimony.

209
00:09:26,177 --> 00:09:27,544
Hi.

210
00:09:27,545 --> 00:09:29,280
In getting to know the bride and groom,

211
00:09:29,281 --> 00:09:31,448
I see great potential in this match.

212
00:09:31,449 --> 00:09:33,817
Look into each other's eyes.

213
00:09:33,818 --> 00:09:36,920
Really look into each other's eyes.

214
00:09:36,921 --> 00:09:38,656
You both look great today,

215
00:09:38,657 --> 00:09:41,892
in your wedding dress and your tuxedo.

216
00:09:41,893 --> 00:09:43,327
Oh, it's okay.

217
00:09:43,328 --> 00:09:45,763
Now it's time for the vows.

218
00:09:45,764 --> 00:09:48,299
Instead of formal vows,

219
00:09:48,300 --> 00:09:51,001
the bride and groom will
speak from the heart.

220
00:09:51,002 --> 00:09:53,570
Carol, you're up first.

221
00:09:53,571 --> 00:09:57,474
Phil Miller, thank you for marrying me.

222
00:09:57,475 --> 00:09:59,610
Through this union,

223
00:09:59,611 --> 00:10:01,545
we will hopefully be blessed

224
00:10:01,546 --> 00:10:03,947
with bringing life and
promise to a new world.

225
00:10:03,948 --> 00:10:05,783
For a new day will dawn,

226
00:10:05,784 --> 00:10:09,119
and humankind will rise anew

227
00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:11,955
because of what we're doing today.

228
00:10:11,956 --> 00:10:13,123
Carol (Over recording): Very nice, Carol.

229
00:10:13,124 --> 00:10:14,224
Thank you.

230
00:10:14,225 --> 00:10:15,659
Just beautiful.

231
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:17,127
Now it's the groom's turn. Phil?

232
00:10:17,128 --> 00:10:19,596
But you told me all I had
to do was get the rings.

233
00:10:19,597 --> 00:10:21,265
Oh, just speak from the heart.

234
00:10:21,266 --> 00:10:22,933
Okay. Yeah.

235
00:10:22,934 --> 00:10:24,768
Um...

236
00:10:24,769 --> 00:10:25,769
Carol...

237
00:10:25,770 --> 00:10:27,504
Yes. Uh...

238
00:10:27,505 --> 00:10:30,140
You seem like a good person.

239
00:10:30,141 --> 00:10:31,342
- Thank you.
- We're gonna,

240
00:10:31,343 --> 00:10:32,442
uh, be married, you know.

241
00:10:34,479 --> 00:10:36,946
A... and?

242
00:10:38,350 --> 00:10:39,950
Yeah, that's it.

243
00:10:39,951 --> 00:10:42,920
Oh, I left a little
more space here for you,

244
00:10:42,921 --> 00:10:45,022
so we'll just wait it out.

245
00:10:45,023 --> 00:10:46,055
(Chuckles)

246
00:10:53,598 --> 00:10:56,166
Carol: Phil, that was beautiful.

247
00:10:56,167 --> 00:10:58,168
Now for the exchange of rings.

248
00:10:58,169 --> 00:11:01,004
Rings are a symbol of
the eternity of marriage.

249
00:11:01,005 --> 00:11:02,139
Oh, oh, shoot. They're not here.

250
00:11:02,140 --> 00:11:03,340
Phil, do you have the rings?

251
00:11:03,341 --> 00:11:05,342
Phil, did you even get them? Be honest.

252
00:11:05,343 --> 00:11:07,277
Carol, I...

253
00:11:07,278 --> 00:11:08,479
I'm not gonna

254
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:09,780
start this marriage out with a lie.

255
00:11:09,781 --> 00:11:11,115
I got the rings.

256
00:11:11,116 --> 00:11:12,649
Phil. God.

257
00:11:12,650 --> 00:11:14,784
Look me in the eyes.
Did you really get them?

258
00:11:15,887 --> 00:11:17,955
I started the marriage out with a lie.

259
00:11:17,956 --> 00:11:19,289
I did not get the rings.

260
00:11:19,290 --> 00:11:20,858
That was your one job.

261
00:11:20,859 --> 00:11:22,192
Carol: Carol Pilbasian, do you take

262
00:11:22,193 --> 00:11:23,827
Phil Miller to be your
lawfully wedded husband?

263
00:11:23,828 --> 00:11:24,928
I can't do this.

264
00:11:24,929 --> 00:11:26,964
What? You can't buy me a Goldarn ring?

265
00:11:26,965 --> 00:11:28,565
I'm trying so hard to

266
00:11:28,566 --> 00:11:29,933
Raisin Ball the hell out of this ceremony,

267
00:11:29,934 --> 00:11:32,736
but you are the worst. Just forget it.

268
00:11:32,737 --> 00:11:35,538
Carol. Come on.

269
00:11:39,577 --> 00:11:41,944
One job.

270
00:11:43,381 --> 00:11:46,183
Carol: I now pronounce you man and wife.

271
00:11:46,184 --> 00:11:48,184
You may kiss the bride.

272
00:11:49,888 --> 00:11:51,187
(Engine starts)

273
00:11:59,256 --> 00:12:00,423
Phil: Carol! (Knocking)

274
00:12:00,424 --> 00:12:01,824
Look, I'm getting worried about you, okay?

275
00:12:01,825 --> 00:12:04,394
I don't think you're in
there, but if you are,

276
00:12:04,395 --> 00:12:06,396
just know I'm gonna break down your door.

277
00:12:06,397 --> 00:12:09,965
And this is not out of
anger, this is out of concern.

278
00:12:21,378 --> 00:12:24,013
Sorry, got a little too into it.

279
00:12:24,014 --> 00:12:26,014
♪ ♪

280
00:12:51,642 --> 00:12:53,308
Is that eggplant?

281
00:13:17,067 --> 00:13:18,634
Phil (Over walkie-talkie): Carol, come on,

282
00:13:18,635 --> 00:13:19,735
please go for Phil.

283
00:13:19,736 --> 00:13:21,404
Look, I know that you're upset,

284
00:13:21,405 --> 00:13:23,405
but I just, I really want to talk to you.

285
00:13:26,610 --> 00:13:28,611
Phil, I don't want to
talk to you right now.

286
00:13:28,612 --> 00:13:30,612
I'm very busy.

287
00:13:32,616 --> 00:13:34,950
Busy bedazzling pillows?

288
00:13:38,522 --> 00:13:40,423
What are you doing here?

289
00:13:40,424 --> 00:13:42,225
Well,

290
00:13:42,226 --> 00:13:45,094
I came by 'cause I-I
wanted to say something.

291
00:13:45,095 --> 00:13:46,862
Well, I'm listening. Okay.

292
00:13:48,899 --> 00:13:52,301
Carol, you drive me crazy.

293
00:13:52,302 --> 00:13:53,803
You don't get my jokes.

294
00:13:53,804 --> 00:13:56,105
You correct my grammar.

295
00:13:56,106 --> 00:13:57,907
You talk and talk and talk

296
00:13:57,908 --> 00:13:59,942
and talk, and you pester
me worse than my mother.

297
00:13:59,943 --> 00:14:02,745
It really annoys me
when-when you do that stuff.

298
00:14:02,746 --> 00:14:05,748
Oh, you are no picnic
yourself, Mr. Porn J...

299
00:14:05,749 --> 00:14:07,083
Yes? Carol?

300
00:14:07,084 --> 00:14:08,784
Rat-beard...

301
00:14:08,785 --> 00:14:10,653
- Carol. Carol.
- Poopy-pool...

302
00:14:10,654 --> 00:14:11,987
The third...

303
00:14:14,258 --> 00:14:15,558
Not done yet.

304
00:14:15,559 --> 00:14:18,895
Look... when I got home,

305
00:14:18,896 --> 00:14:22,098
and you didn't come back,
I started to get worried.

306
00:14:22,099 --> 00:14:23,432
Why were you worried?

307
00:14:23,433 --> 00:14:25,568
Please, don't interrupt this, okay?

308
00:14:25,569 --> 00:14:28,337
I realized that I'd rather

309
00:14:28,338 --> 00:14:32,308
eat Raisin Balls...
Parentheses live in a world

310
00:14:32,309 --> 00:14:35,311
in which I am challenged by your...

311
00:14:35,312 --> 00:14:37,146
Tendencies...

312
00:14:37,147 --> 00:14:38,247
Okay.

313
00:14:38,248 --> 00:14:40,583
Than eat no balls at all...

314
00:14:40,584 --> 00:14:43,920
Parentheses go back to living alone.

315
00:14:43,921 --> 00:14:45,688
That's nice.

316
00:14:45,689 --> 00:14:47,590
I know.

317
00:14:47,591 --> 00:14:49,258
Phil, you were a real scrub today.

318
00:14:49,259 --> 00:14:50,259
I know.

319
00:14:50,260 --> 00:14:52,161
You know how I feel about scrubs.

320
00:14:52,162 --> 00:14:53,828
You don't want no?

321
00:14:56,066 --> 00:14:57,066
Yeah.

322
00:14:57,067 --> 00:14:59,101
Bingo.

323
00:14:59,102 --> 00:15:00,636
So, what do you say, you want to go home?

324
00:15:00,637 --> 00:15:02,604
Huh?

325
00:15:11,949 --> 00:15:13,349
Wh-where are you going?

326
00:15:13,350 --> 00:15:14,683
Little detour.

327
00:15:19,089 --> 00:15:20,890
I have a little present for you.

328
00:15:20,891 --> 00:15:21,891
(Gasps)

329
00:15:21,892 --> 00:15:23,693
No, you didn't.

330
00:15:23,694 --> 00:15:24,827
Philip Miller,

331
00:15:24,828 --> 00:15:27,029
a tiny sledgehammer?

332
00:15:27,030 --> 00:15:29,131
- I love it.
- That's not the present.

333
00:15:29,132 --> 00:15:30,466
It's not?

334
00:15:30,467 --> 00:15:31,467
No.

335
00:15:31,468 --> 00:15:32,634
What's the present?

336
00:15:34,471 --> 00:15:36,438
Mm, oh... that one.

337
00:15:37,474 --> 00:15:39,107
And that one and those ones.

338
00:15:40,177 --> 00:15:41,377
Oh, that one, too.

339
00:15:41,378 --> 00:15:43,044
Okay.

340
00:15:45,916 --> 00:15:48,918
Carol (Over recording): I now
pronounce you man and wife.

341
00:15:48,919 --> 00:15:50,920
You may kiss the bride.

342
00:15:50,921 --> 00:15:53,922
(Piano and violin playing
Mendelssohn's "Wedding March")

343
00:15:59,596 --> 00:16:00,796
Yowza!

344
00:16:00,797 --> 00:16:03,365
Let her up for air, Phil. (Laughs)

345
00:16:06,169 --> 00:16:07,502
Phil.

346
00:16:10,507 --> 00:16:13,108
Your presence is requested in the bedroom.

347
00:16:19,216 --> 00:16:20,516
Um...

348
00:16:20,517 --> 00:16:22,184
Uh...

349
00:16:22,185 --> 00:16:23,185
Yeah, let's see what...

350
00:16:23,186 --> 00:16:24,353
Just focus on me, huh?

351
00:16:24,354 --> 00:16:26,054
- Okay.
- Mmm.

352
00:16:27,758 --> 00:16:29,258
Mmm.

353
00:16:29,259 --> 00:16:30,893
Mmm.

354
00:16:30,894 --> 00:16:31,894
Come on.

355
00:16:31,895 --> 00:16:33,029
- Phil.
- What?

356
00:16:33,030 --> 00:16:36,032
Just give yourself up to the process.

357
00:16:36,033 --> 00:16:37,366
And don't worry,

358
00:16:37,367 --> 00:16:41,137
I've been told that I'm
very, very good at this.

359
00:16:41,138 --> 00:16:42,772
Oh, throw your sleeping bag down!

360
00:16:42,773 --> 00:16:44,407
Phil, that's your camping spot!

361
00:16:44,408 --> 00:16:45,908
You big camper!

362
00:16:45,909 --> 00:16:49,312
You better put the food in the
trees before the bears get it.

363
00:16:49,313 --> 00:16:50,646
Ah, you hear them coming?

364
00:16:50,647 --> 00:16:52,581
Uh-oh.
Uh-oh!

365
00:16:52,582 --> 00:16:54,417
Nicely done, Phil!

366
00:16:54,418 --> 00:16:56,052
<i>And here we go!</i>

367
00:16:56,053 --> 00:16:58,154
<i>Oh!</i>

368
00:16:58,155 --> 00:17:00,122
Oh, I'm famished.

369
00:17:00,123 --> 00:17:03,292
After doing the nasty, I
need to have some beans.

370
00:17:03,293 --> 00:17:05,494
Oh, you want some beans, babe?

371
00:17:05,495 --> 00:17:06,896
- No. No, I don't want...
- No?

372
00:17:06,897 --> 00:17:08,898
I'm just gonna... just...

373
00:17:08,899 --> 00:17:11,300
Sit here and, you know, try to...

374
00:17:11,301 --> 00:17:13,902
Figure out what just happened.

375
00:17:15,305 --> 00:17:17,506
Mmm.

376
00:17:17,507 --> 00:17:20,976
I actually have some
constructive criticisms for you.

377
00:17:20,977 --> 00:17:23,779
You should talk more.

378
00:17:23,780 --> 00:17:26,248
I like to hear what my man has to say.

379
00:17:26,249 --> 00:17:28,517
Just get in there with
some sexual jibber-jabber.

380
00:17:28,518 --> 00:17:30,619
It will be welcomed.

381
00:17:30,620 --> 00:17:32,588
Carol, in all honesty, I think
we have different methods,

382
00:17:32,589 --> 00:17:34,724
'cause I kind of like to church-mouse it.

383
00:17:34,725 --> 00:17:35,825
Ooh.

384
00:17:35,826 --> 00:17:37,492
What's that mouse doing in the church?

385
00:17:40,230 --> 00:17:41,229
Mmm.

386
00:17:43,033 --> 00:17:44,867
Oh, my God, I can't believe

387
00:17:44,868 --> 00:17:48,003
I just had sex with the
President of the United States.

388
00:17:48,004 --> 00:17:49,804
(Laughs)

389
00:17:59,061 --> 00:18:02,263
Phil Miller, what is going on in here?

390
00:18:02,264 --> 00:18:04,732
Well, Carol, I'm playing racquetball, okay?

391
00:18:04,733 --> 00:18:07,835
You have to know that this
is the kind of thing I do.

392
00:18:07,836 --> 00:18:09,737
I assume you're gonna say you got to...

393
00:18:09,738 --> 00:18:12,874
Go outside or go find an
official racquetball court,

394
00:18:12,875 --> 00:18:15,443
but you just have to know
these things about me.

395
00:18:15,444 --> 00:18:17,778
I want to play racquetball in my house.

396
00:18:17,779 --> 00:18:19,947
And-and I'm afraid I have to demand it.

397
00:18:19,948 --> 00:18:21,916
This is who I am!

398
00:18:21,917 --> 00:18:24,051
And... (Panting)

399
00:18:24,052 --> 00:18:25,586
Are you done?

400
00:18:25,587 --> 00:18:27,855
Yes.

401
00:18:27,856 --> 00:18:31,324
I was just gonna ask if
you had a second racquet.

402
00:18:32,928 --> 00:18:34,427
- Go! Go!
- (Whoops)

403
00:18:35,764 --> 00:18:36,763
Got it!

404
00:18:37,799 --> 00:18:38,766
Oh, Phil!

405
00:18:38,767 --> 00:18:40,434
Oh!

406
00:18:40,435 --> 00:18:41,435
(Screams)

407
00:18:41,436 --> 00:18:42,970
I broke a vase!

408
00:18:42,971 --> 00:18:44,539
Did I get a point for that?

409
00:18:44,540 --> 00:18:46,039
Carol: <i>Mmm.</i>

410
00:18:52,047 --> 00:18:54,382
Did you notice how silent I'm being?

411
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:56,217
Uh, yeah, I noticed. Thank you.

412
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,985
I'll just be your silent wife.

413
00:18:57,986 --> 00:18:59,954
Carol: <i>Oh...!</i>

414
00:18:59,955 --> 00:19:01,956
You sure this is safe?

415
00:19:01,957 --> 00:19:03,257
You're fine, Carol.

416
00:19:03,258 --> 00:19:04,592
It's a fireproof suit.

417
00:19:04,593 --> 00:19:06,627
Here goes nothing.

418
00:19:06,628 --> 00:19:08,428
♪ ♪

419
00:19:09,731 --> 00:19:10,730
Ugh.

420
00:19:13,268 --> 00:19:14,935
(Laughs)

421
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:22,943
Yes!

422
00:19:27,015 --> 00:19:29,016
So she's your ex-girlfriend, huh?

423
00:19:29,017 --> 00:19:30,351
Yep.

424
00:19:30,352 --> 00:19:31,385
She's very pretty.

425
00:19:31,386 --> 00:19:33,421
Yeah. She's not bad.

426
00:19:33,422 --> 00:19:34,589
Where are you going?

427
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:37,425
Oh, I'm just gonna introduce myself.

428
00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:38,960
Hello.

429
00:19:38,961 --> 00:19:40,795
I'm Phil Miller's new wife, Carol.

430
00:19:40,796 --> 00:19:41,896
What's your name?

431
00:19:41,897 --> 00:19:43,030
Oh.

432
00:19:43,031 --> 00:19:45,132
That's a nice name for a hussy!

433
00:19:45,133 --> 00:19:46,433
(Grunts) Come on!

434
00:19:47,803 --> 00:19:49,804
(Laughs tauntingly)

435
00:19:49,805 --> 00:19:51,439
You should have just said
your name, you wouldn't...

436
00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:53,841
- You should have said your name.
- None of this would be happening.

437
00:19:53,842 --> 00:19:56,110
That's right! You tell everybody

438
00:19:56,111 --> 00:19:59,981
that Phil Miller's off the market!

439
00:19:59,982 --> 00:20:00,982
That's right!

440
00:20:00,983 --> 00:20:01,983
You should have s...

441
00:20:01,984 --> 00:20:03,150
(Laughs)

442
00:20:03,151 --> 00:20:05,151
(Laughs): Oh!

443
00:20:07,155 --> 00:20:09,757
She was being a real "B".

444
00:20:09,758 --> 00:20:13,060
You know, Carol, I thought
this whole marriage thing

445
00:20:13,061 --> 00:20:15,596
was just gonna be an absolute disaster.

446
00:20:15,597 --> 00:20:19,133
But I got to say, it's surprisingly...

447
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,234
Tolerable.

448
00:20:20,235 --> 00:20:21,903
Yeah, totally bearable.

449
00:20:21,904 --> 00:20:23,705
Yeah, I mean,

450
00:20:23,706 --> 00:20:26,908
this is our destiny, maybe.

451
00:20:26,909 --> 00:20:28,308
I think so.

452
00:20:29,411 --> 00:20:30,845
Carol: Oh!

453
00:20:30,846 --> 00:20:31,912
(Phil screams)

454
00:20:35,050 --> 00:20:37,385
Are you okay? Yeah, I think so.

455
00:20:37,386 --> 00:20:38,652
Yeah.

456
00:20:40,389 --> 00:20:42,090
Hello?

457
00:20:42,091 --> 00:20:44,024
Hello in there?

458
00:20:50,132 --> 00:20:51,860
Oh, my God.

459
00:20:52,205 --> 00:20:56,025
- Are you okay?
- Uh...

460
00:20:56,937 --> 00:21:00,011
- Synced and Corrected by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -

