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Previously on The Last Man on Earth.

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- I do.
- I do?

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I thought this whole marriage
thing was just gonna be

4
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an absolute disaster,

5
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but it's surprisingly

6
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- tolerable.
- Whoa!

7
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Aah!

8
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Hello?

9
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Hello in there?

10
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Are you okay?

11
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- Uh...
- Phil!

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Wait, is there someone else in your car?

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Can't get my seatbelt off.

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Oh...  She's fine.

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Oh, my God!

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Oh, yeah, uh, Carol, get out of that truck.

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There's
another person on Earth.

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I know, I know,

19
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I know, I know, I know, I know.

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- Are you okay?
- I just, uh, banged my knee, I think.

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Well, here, put your arm around me.

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Come on, we got to get away from this car.

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I can't believe you're here.
Phil, can you believe it?

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There's another person.

25
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Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

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Come on, let's get in my car.

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Shotgun!

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Wh...

29
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Phil?

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I called it!

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We'll just go over here. It's fine.

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Hey, how you doing back there?

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Oh, I'm great. Would you believe

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this is my first ride in a limousine?

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I feel like

36
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Imelda Marcos back here.

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I'm Carol, by the way. That's Phil.

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Hi.

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I'm Melissa.

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What brings you to Arizona?

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Oh, you know, the unbearable heat,

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lack of water.

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See, that's the exact reason why I

44
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wouldn't want to come, but...

45
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No, I saw these billboards that said

46
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"Alive in Tucson" so I decided

47
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- to give it a shot.
- Those are Phil's.

48
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Oh, yeah? You did those?

49
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That was a really smart idea.

50
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Mm. I mean... whatever.

51
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I wish you would have put
your address on them, though.

52
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I've been here two weeks,
just driving around.

53
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Wait, y-you've been here for two weeks?
So you were

54
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here before me? That's funny.

55
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Yeah, Phil, you should've
put your address on

56
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the sign.

57
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Yup. Should've done that.

58
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That's okay, though. Couple
days here, couple days there.

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What would have really been different?

60
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Yeah.

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Except you could have been
a guest at our wedding.

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Oh, you... you guys are married?

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- I mean...
- Yup. Tied the knot.

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Well, wait,

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you've known each other,
like, a week, right?

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- Yeah.
- Wow.

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Yeah. You guys don't mess around.

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Yes, we do.

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Carol... We had a awkward patch at first,

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but, oh, we have been really

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jelling lately. It's not uncommon

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for us to finish each other's...

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That's a cool function.

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So when Carol says marriage...

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Sentences.

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The-the little window went up.

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Did you guys see that? Ha.

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Yeah, we're literally
in the honeymoon phase.

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We're trying to have

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a baby, so you know what that means...
nonstop...

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Oop! The window's going up again.

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Wait, am I pushing

83
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<i>the window? I'm not pushing it.</i>

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So, uh,

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this is Chez Phil.

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Wow.

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Holy crap, is that<i> Water Lilies?</i>

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- Yup.
- It's stolen.

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Phil stole

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all of this.

91
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Well, is it really stealing if

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- there are no people left?
- That's what I said.

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Well, I could really use some rest.
Where should I stay?

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Well, you should probably
stay right here, right?

95
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You know, it's probably good to have

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somebody watching over you in case

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you got a concussion or something.

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I-I don't have a concussion.

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That's what people always say

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when they got a little concush brewing.

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- I definitely don't have one.
- Think about it.

102
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S-So can I just take any house? Or...

103
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Well, this one's Phil's.

104
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And mine's the one across the
street with the broken door.

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Because...

106
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Phil broke it.

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I'm gonna fix your door, Carol.

108
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Well, he's not very handy,

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so I'm not gonna hold my breast.

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Breath.

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Why would I hold my breath? I would die.

112
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Ca hold your breast?

113
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Oh. No... It's "holding
your breath" because

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there's danger if you hold your breath.

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I wouldn't. That's what I'm saying.

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So the house with the broken door is yours.

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Yeah.

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But every other one is available.

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I would avoid the white one,

120
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because Phil uses the pool as a toilet.

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- Carol...
- What? It's the truth.

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You know... she just got here. It's...

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But the toilet pool's the
first thing you showed<i> me.</i>

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But... Yeah, but you
don't have to tell her,

125
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- you know, the...
- Okay, I'm sorry.

126
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I shouldn't have put Phil's
business out on the streets.

127
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But don't go swimming in there.

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I'll try to resist the urge.

129
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- Yeah.
- Thanks.

130
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You go have yourself a good snooze, okay?

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And when you wake up,

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why don't you drop by for dinner?

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Dinner's a great idea.

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Oh, yeah. You come, too, Carol, sure.

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I still can't believe this. This is...

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Never thought I'd see people again.

137
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And you two sure are...

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you know... people.

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Come here.

140
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Oh.

141
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Hey, I want to get in on this.

142
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Okay.
- Mm.

143
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Mm.

144
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Okay, that's my limit, probably.

145
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Okay. All right.

146
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Thanks.

147
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- She's nice. I like her.
- Yeah.

148
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And voilá. There you have it:

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The world-famous Pilbasian casserole.

150
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So what-what's in that?

151
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Well, you got your raisin
balls, canned tomato sauce

152
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mint chutney and then

153
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potato chips for mouth feel.

154
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You want to try some?

155
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Yes.

156
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Okay. Let's get all

157
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that tomato sauce and then... Mmm.

158
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It's a juicy one.

159
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Oh.

160
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- Mmm.
- Uh-huh. I knew you'd love it.

161
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Mm-hmm.

162
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Phil, what's taking you so long?

163
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Be right down.

164
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He's probably deciding

165
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between his cargo shorts
and his sweat pants.

166
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I'm predicting cargo shorts.

167
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But you never know with Phil.

168
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Could be sweat pants, too. I don't know.

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Hello, ladies.

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Phil Miller. What's gotten into you?

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I don't know what you're
talking about, Carol.

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Just coming down for dinner, as I do.

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So you got rid of the beard.

174
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Yes, I did.

175
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Thought that was kind of cool.

176
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You did? Oh.

177
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Yeah, your chin

178
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is... too pointy. You just need
something to smooth it out.

179
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And you feel the same... way about that?

180
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- Yeah, you look smaller.
- Weaker.

181
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M'kay...

182
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Who do you look like?

183
00:06:49,723 --> 00:06:51,157
Quentin Tarantino.

184
00:06:51,158 --> 00:06:53,759
Uh, okay, yeah, yeah. I
don't see that, but...

185
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- K.D. Lang, isn't it?
- Oh, K.D... It's K.D. Lang.

186
00:06:55,896 --> 00:06:58,698
K.D. Lang, the-the female country singer?

187
00:06:58,699 --> 00:07:00,066
- Mm-hmm.
- Yeah.

188
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Well, I like it.

189
00:07:02,035 --> 00:07:03,703
Well, you don't have to look at it.

190
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I guess I don't.

191
00:07:05,839 --> 00:07:08,240
Uh, shall we eat?

192
00:07:15,443 --> 00:07:17,610
So, uh... tell us more about yourself.

193
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Who is Melissa...

194
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What's your last name?

195
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- Shart.
- Sharp?

196
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Shart.

197
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Shart.

198
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Beautiful name.

199
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:30,356
So who is

200
00:07:30,357 --> 00:07:33,226
Melissa Shart? What makes her tick?

201
00:07:33,227 --> 00:07:35,028
Well, I grew up in Akron.

202
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- Ohio.
- Yes.

203
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Yup. And then

204
00:07:37,831 --> 00:07:39,098
went to UNLV.

205
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Go Runnin' Rebels.

206
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Yeah, that's the mascot.

207
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I know it well. I know it well.

208
00:07:46,373 --> 00:07:47,906
Our mascot was St. Peter.

209
00:07:48,942 --> 00:07:50,843
I went to a Catholic university.

210
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He was fierce.

211
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Mm-hmm.

212
00:07:55,683 --> 00:07:57,383
Go on. Go on.

213
00:07:57,384 --> 00:07:59,084
Well, I was a real estate agent.

214
00:08:00,220 --> 00:08:01,587
So if you're looking to move,

215
00:08:01,588 --> 00:08:03,355
right now's a buyer's market.

216
00:08:04,892 --> 00:08:06,225
That's very funny.

217
00:08:06,226 --> 00:08:07,593
That's a good joke.

218
00:08:07,594 --> 00:08:09,762
No, but it's been weird. It's been hard.

219
00:08:09,763 --> 00:08:11,964
No, no, no. I know. We
shouldn't joke about that.

220
00:08:11,965 --> 00:08:13,066
But we have to laugh about it.

221
00:08:13,067 --> 00:08:14,400
Best medicine. Got to laugh.

222
00:08:14,401 --> 00:08:15,601
Got to joke about it.

223
00:08:15,602 --> 00:08:17,270
- Yeah.
- Yeah. Hey,

224
00:08:17,271 --> 00:08:19,605
I-I just want to apologize
for smashing up your limo.

225
00:08:19,606 --> 00:08:21,875
I feel just awful about that.

226
00:08:21,876 --> 00:08:24,711
Oh, don't even worry about it. I
don't care about that thing.

227
00:08:24,712 --> 00:08:26,383
- You sure?
- Now, if had been my old

228
00:08:26,384 --> 00:08:27,814
VW Bug, we would've had a problem.

229
00:08:27,815 --> 00:08:29,716
Wait, you used to have a VW Bug?

230
00:08:29,717 --> 00:08:31,617
- Yeah.
- I used to have a VW Bug!

231
00:08:31,618 --> 00:08:33,720
- You did?
- Yeah, I did.

232
00:08:33,721 --> 00:08:35,254
That's such a fun thing to have in common.

233
00:08:35,255 --> 00:08:37,356
- Yeah.
- Couple of Bug owners here.

234
00:08:37,357 --> 00:08:38,791
Yeah.

235
00:08:38,792 --> 00:08:39,892
Which one did you have?

236
00:08:43,731 --> 00:08:45,465
Okay, well, full disclosure,

237
00:08:45,466 --> 00:08:47,232
it was actually my buddy's sister's Bug.

238
00:08:48,435 --> 00:08:50,269
And it was a... a Jetta.

239
00:08:50,270 --> 00:08:53,551
But, uh, God, I logged some
serious hours in there.

240
00:08:53,552 --> 00:08:54,896
Love those things.

241
00:08:55,375 --> 00:08:57,810
- Great cars.
- Yeah.

242
00:08:57,811 --> 00:09:00,847
So, uh, Melissa,

243
00:09:00,848 --> 00:09:03,916
were you married in the old world?

244
00:09:03,917 --> 00:09:05,785
Yes, I was married once

245
00:09:05,786 --> 00:09:07,286
to a jerk named Greg.

246
00:09:07,287 --> 00:09:10,022
Cheated on me with a cop.

247
00:09:10,023 --> 00:09:12,658
Friggin' cheaters.

248
00:09:12,659 --> 00:09:14,327
I'm so sorry you went through that.

249
00:09:14,328 --> 00:09:15,862
No, it was all for the best.

250
00:09:15,863 --> 00:09:17,096
- Yeah.
- He wasn't my type anyway.

251
00:09:17,097 --> 00:09:19,365
And what is your type?

252
00:09:19,366 --> 00:09:22,502
Just a man's man. A provider.

253
00:09:22,503 --> 00:09:25,705
Duly noted.

254
00:09:25,706 --> 00:09:29,575
- Um...
- Oh, uh, for... Carol, you know?

255
00:09:29,576 --> 00:09:32,512
Trying to make myself a better
husband for that woman.

256
00:09:32,513 --> 00:09:34,113
And you should.

257
00:09:34,114 --> 00:09:35,882
'Cause Carol, you seem
like a really great lady.

258
00:09:35,883 --> 00:09:38,417
Thank you.

259
00:09:38,418 --> 00:09:40,486
Well, and I-I think Greg's crazy,

260
00:09:40,487 --> 00:09:42,922
because you, Melissa, are a catch.

261
00:09:42,923 --> 00:09:44,991
Like, a Moby Dick-sized catch.

262
00:09:44,992 --> 00:09:46,993
Moby Dick?

263
00:09:46,994 --> 00:09:48,528
Try Moby Double Dick.

264
00:09:48,529 --> 00:09:50,396
Well, I'm gonna get to bed.

265
00:09:50,397 --> 00:09:52,865
Thank you, dinner was...

266
00:09:54,256 --> 00:09:55,067
Thank you.

267
00:09:55,068 --> 00:09:56,803
- Walk you home?
- I'm good.

268
00:09:56,804 --> 00:09:57,970
How about another group hug?

269
00:09:57,971 --> 00:09:59,705
Rain check.

270
00:09:59,706 --> 00:10:01,541
Well, I'm gonna collect.

271
00:10:01,542 --> 00:10:03,643
Believe you me.

272
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:06,212
Like a tax man collecting hug tax.

273
00:10:06,213 --> 00:10:07,712
I will collect.

274
00:10:09,249 --> 00:10:11,417
So, you ready to take the train

275
00:10:11,418 --> 00:10:13,820
to repopulation station?

276
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:16,622
Without your beard, you're
like a whole new man.

277
00:10:16,623 --> 00:10:18,758
It's like I'm cheating on my husband.

278
00:10:18,759 --> 00:10:21,394
Which I would never, ever do.

279
00:10:21,395 --> 00:10:23,596
Yeah, uh, look, I'm sorry, Carol,

280
00:10:23,597 --> 00:10:25,298
I-I really don't feel like it tonight.

281
00:10:25,299 --> 00:10:27,600
I think I ate something
that didn't agree with me.

282
00:10:27,601 --> 00:10:29,167
Oh.

283
00:10:30,737 --> 00:10:32,438
Is it diarrhea?

284
00:10:32,439 --> 00:10:34,707
Carol, can we please not talk about this?

285
00:10:34,708 --> 00:10:36,909
Phil, I'm your wife, and I want you to know

286
00:10:36,910 --> 00:10:39,946
that you can always tell
me about your diarrhea.

287
00:10:39,947 --> 00:10:41,714
- Carol...
- You can,

288
00:10:41,715 --> 00:10:43,416
and I'll tell you if I ever have it.

289
00:10:43,417 --> 00:10:44,450
It's part of the deal.

290
00:10:44,451 --> 00:10:46,285
It's why people get married.

291
00:10:46,286 --> 00:10:48,554
So they can tell each
other stuff like that.

292
00:10:48,555 --> 00:10:50,656
Carol, look, I don't have diarrhea, okay?

293
00:10:50,657 --> 00:10:53,125
My stomach is just upset.

294
00:10:53,126 --> 00:10:54,994
But I promise you, as your husband,

295
00:10:54,995 --> 00:10:56,562
the moment I have diarrhea,

296
00:10:56,563 --> 00:10:58,197
I will march on over to your house

297
00:10:58,198 --> 00:10:59,532
and tell you all about it.

298
00:10:59,533 --> 00:11:01,601
And I look forward to hearing about yours.

299
00:11:01,602 --> 00:11:03,236
Promise?

300
00:11:03,237 --> 00:11:04,370
I promise.

301
00:11:04,371 --> 00:11:06,571
Okay.

302
00:11:07,708 --> 00:11:09,041
Hey, Phil?

303
00:11:09,042 --> 00:11:10,810
What?

304
00:11:10,811 --> 00:11:13,278
Are you attracted to Melissa?

305
00:11:14,314 --> 00:11:16,314
Honestly?

306
00:11:17,451 --> 00:11:20,118
No.

307
00:11:24,124 --> 00:11:26,359
Okay.

308
00:11:31,798 --> 00:11:33,131
Phil!

309
00:11:34,601 --> 00:11:35,867
Come here.

310
00:11:36,904 --> 00:11:38,937
I want to show you something.

311
00:11:45,145 --> 00:11:46,645
This way.

312
00:11:48,649 --> 00:11:50,649
♪ ♪

313
00:12:02,629 --> 00:12:04,764
Hi, Phil. Guess what I have?

314
00:12:04,765 --> 00:12:06,299
Starts with a "D."

315
00:12:06,300 --> 00:12:07,833
<i>Diarrhea.</i>

316
00:12:07,834 --> 00:12:10,136
<i>Diarrhea,
diarrhea, diarrhea!</i>

317
00:12:16,537 --> 00:12:18,305
Come in.

318
00:12:20,074 --> 00:12:21,473
Oh, hey, Melissa.

319
00:12:22,977 --> 00:12:24,611
What can I do you for?

320
00:12:24,612 --> 00:12:25,912
Can you come with me?

321
00:12:25,913 --> 00:12:27,414
Yeah, hang on one sec.

322
00:12:27,415 --> 00:12:29,616
Almost done with my set.

323
00:12:29,617 --> 00:12:31,852
Got to get those reps in. Ha.

324
00:12:31,853 --> 00:12:34,187
391...

325
00:12:34,188 --> 00:12:36,690
392...

326
00:12:36,691 --> 00:12:37,891
three-ninety...

327
00:12:37,892 --> 00:12:40,293
...three.

328
00:12:41,495 --> 00:12:43,964
393... that's my number.

329
00:12:43,965 --> 00:12:45,264
Let's do it.

330
00:12:50,071 --> 00:12:51,671
So, what is this?

331
00:12:51,672 --> 00:12:53,273
I don't know.

332
00:12:53,274 --> 00:12:55,207
Must be from the Volkswagen fairy.

333
00:12:56,644 --> 00:12:57,978
No biggie.

334
00:12:57,979 --> 00:12:59,246
You know, I felt bad about the limo

335
00:12:59,247 --> 00:13:00,714
and so I made right.

336
00:13:00,715 --> 00:13:01,982
That's how I do.

337
00:13:01,983 --> 00:13:04,150
I'm a provider like that.

338
00:13:04,151 --> 00:13:06,052
You really don't have to do that.

339
00:13:06,053 --> 00:13:07,787
I don't do things 'cause I have to.

340
00:13:07,788 --> 00:13:08,989
Phil!

341
00:13:08,990 --> 00:13:10,690
Can I see you for a second?!

342
00:13:10,691 --> 00:13:12,092
Sure, Carol!

343
00:13:12,093 --> 00:13:13,660
Anything for you!

344
00:13:13,661 --> 00:13:15,328
So devoted to her.

345
00:13:15,329 --> 00:13:18,564
- Phil!
- I said I'm coming, Carol!

346
00:13:21,435 --> 00:13:23,003
You shouted?

347
00:13:23,004 --> 00:13:24,604
You bought Melissa a car?

348
00:13:24,605 --> 00:13:26,907
Yeah, Carol, I smashed up her limo.

349
00:13:26,908 --> 00:13:28,608
So you have all the time to do that,

350
00:13:28,609 --> 00:13:32,045
but you couldn't take the
time to fix my door?

351
00:13:32,046 --> 00:13:34,281
Carol, this door is broken in
a way that cannot be fixed.

352
00:13:34,282 --> 00:13:36,383
Okay, it was broken from the start,

353
00:13:36,384 --> 00:13:39,452
so maybe it's time to
think about moving on.

354
00:13:39,453 --> 00:13:40,754
Phil, when something's broken,

355
00:13:40,755 --> 00:13:42,656
you don't just throw it away.

356
00:13:42,657 --> 00:13:44,424
Okay, you work on it and you fix it.

357
00:13:44,425 --> 00:13:46,526
Fine, Carol.

358
00:13:46,527 --> 00:13:47,894
I'll fix the stupid door.

359
00:13:47,895 --> 00:13:49,462
- Fine. Fine.
- Fine!

360
00:13:49,463 --> 00:13:51,531
- Fine! Fine!
- Fine! Fine!

361
00:13:57,605 --> 00:14:00,407
Locked in a pretty serious
battle with Carol's door.

362
00:14:00,408 --> 00:14:02,542
Gonna pop down to the hardware store,

363
00:14:02,543 --> 00:14:03,777
uh, pick up some supplies,

364
00:14:03,778 --> 00:14:05,912
gonna get some two by's, some four by's,

365
00:14:05,913 --> 00:14:07,213
nails for sure.

366
00:14:07,214 --> 00:14:09,716
- A Wilson Phillips head screwdriver...
- A what?

367
00:14:09,717 --> 00:14:11,985
A Wilson Phillips head screwdriver.

368
00:14:11,986 --> 00:14:13,419
You mean a Phillips head screwdriver.

369
00:14:14,555 --> 00:14:16,156
Wilson Phillips was a band.

370
00:14:17,591 --> 00:14:19,559
They named a band after a screwdriver.

371
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:20,927
Cool. Well, uh,

372
00:14:20,928 --> 00:14:22,061
catch you on the flippity.

373
00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:26,565
Pick up a shirt while you're at it.

374
00:14:27,802 --> 00:14:29,803
<i>Yeah, so,</i>

375
00:14:29,804 --> 00:14:31,805
that's the wedding scrapbook.

376
00:14:31,806 --> 00:14:34,107
Wish there were actual picture.

377
00:14:34,108 --> 00:14:35,842
But...

378
00:14:35,843 --> 00:14:38,311
I like the illustrations. Thank you.

379
00:14:38,312 --> 00:14:41,181
Yeah, I took a class from a
police sketch artist once.

380
00:14:41,182 --> 00:14:45,251
His drawings led to the capture
of the Green River killer.

381
00:14:45,252 --> 00:14:47,820
Well, it really shows.

382
00:14:49,757 --> 00:14:51,224
Hey, I was wondering,
why don't you and Phil

383
00:14:51,225 --> 00:14:52,826
live in the same house?

384
00:14:52,827 --> 00:14:55,261
He likes to have a little buffer.

385
00:14:55,262 --> 00:14:57,831
But why? You're his wife.

386
00:14:57,832 --> 00:15:00,200
Well, to be honest,

387
00:15:00,201 --> 00:15:02,469
we only got married to repopulate.

388
00:15:02,470 --> 00:15:05,038
I didn't want bastard children.

389
00:15:05,039 --> 00:15:07,374
And I got to give him credit.

390
00:15:07,375 --> 00:15:08,975
I mean, he could've walked away.

391
00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:12,112
Most men would probably think
I was crazy for wanting

392
00:15:12,113 --> 00:15:13,446
to be married.

393
00:15:13,447 --> 00:15:15,982
Do you think I'm crazy?

394
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:17,951
Carol, no.

395
00:15:17,952 --> 00:15:19,819
Do you know how I've spent
the last year of my life?

396
00:15:19,820 --> 00:15:21,221
I've been driving

397
00:15:21,222 --> 00:15:23,990
around the country going
to different coffee shops.

398
00:15:23,991 --> 00:15:26,659
Just sitting there, reading old magazines

399
00:15:26,660 --> 00:15:28,862
with my little cup, and
I'd write my name on it

400
00:15:28,863 --> 00:15:31,197
and misspell it.

401
00:15:31,198 --> 00:15:33,700
Just to feel normal.

402
00:15:33,701 --> 00:15:36,536
Well, I'll go have coffee with you.

403
00:15:36,537 --> 00:15:38,337
I'd like that.

404
00:15:40,374 --> 00:15:42,509
Wh... Is that me?

405
00:15:42,510 --> 00:15:44,344
Yeah.

406
00:15:44,345 --> 00:15:45,979
I just got here yesterday.

407
00:15:45,980 --> 00:15:47,747
Oh, yeah, that's one thing
they teach you in the class.

408
00:15:47,748 --> 00:15:52,085
You have to sketch fast or
the killer could kill again.

409
00:15:52,086 --> 00:15:53,286
Right.

410
00:15:53,287 --> 00:15:54,988
Yeah.

411
00:16:01,762 --> 00:16:02,762
How's it coming?

412
00:16:02,763 --> 00:16:04,230
Oh, hey!

413
00:16:04,231 --> 00:16:06,232
It's going insanely good. It...

414
00:16:06,233 --> 00:16:08,068
Insanely good.

415
00:16:08,069 --> 00:16:09,602
Yeah, it looks like it.

416
00:16:09,603 --> 00:16:11,204
Well, there's an easy fix for that.

417
00:16:11,205 --> 00:16:13,106
You know, you just throw a little

418
00:16:13,107 --> 00:16:14,507
nail in there, like so.

419
00:16:16,777 --> 00:16:19,245
I got my thumb there.

420
00:16:19,246 --> 00:16:20,380
Are you okay?

421
00:16:20,381 --> 00:16:22,449
No, I'm good. I'm good. I'm doing great.

422
00:16:22,450 --> 00:16:25,285
And how are you doing?

423
00:16:25,286 --> 00:16:27,687
I was just wanting to invite
you and Carol over later,

424
00:16:27,688 --> 00:16:29,022
if you're free.

425
00:16:29,023 --> 00:16:30,623
I hooked up my fridge to a little generator

426
00:16:30,624 --> 00:16:32,025
and have some beers chilling.

427
00:16:32,026 --> 00:16:33,393
Well, that'd be great.

428
00:16:33,394 --> 00:16:35,694
Uh, you know, I'll definitely
pass that on to Carol.

429
00:16:43,340 --> 00:16:45,475
It's too bad Carol couldn't come.

430
00:16:45,476 --> 00:16:48,411
Yeah. Diarrhea.

431
00:16:48,412 --> 00:16:50,980
She takes a lot of chances in the kitchen.

432
00:16:50,981 --> 00:16:52,915
But, uh, don't mention it to her, okay?

433
00:16:52,916 --> 00:16:55,984
She gets real embarrassed.

434
00:16:57,554 --> 00:17:00,656
Can I confess something to you?

435
00:17:00,657 --> 00:17:02,759
Yeah, of course.

436
00:17:02,760 --> 00:17:07,630
When I first met you guys,
I liked Carol immediately,

437
00:17:07,631 --> 00:17:09,531
but I was a little...

438
00:17:11,034 --> 00:17:13,001
unclear on you.

439
00:17:14,037 --> 00:17:16,205
Un-unclear in what way?

440
00:17:16,206 --> 00:17:20,243
There was a weird... weird energy at first.

441
00:17:20,244 --> 00:17:21,577
What?

442
00:17:22,846 --> 00:17:25,214
That's, uh, crazy. What?

443
00:17:25,215 --> 00:17:26,415
But then I talked to Carol

444
00:17:26,416 --> 00:17:27,617
and she told me more about your situation,

445
00:17:27,618 --> 00:17:29,418
and I realized, I might've...

446
00:17:29,419 --> 00:17:31,587
you know, just...

447
00:17:31,588 --> 00:17:34,557
misjudged you, so-so I'm sorry.

448
00:17:34,558 --> 00:17:36,492
Yeah, you misjudged me 'cause I'm not...

449
00:17:36,493 --> 00:17:39,061
That's weird, you
were unclear on that, but...

450
00:17:39,062 --> 00:17:40,096
I said I was sorry.

451
00:17:40,097 --> 00:17:41,130
No, no, no, no, no, no.

452
00:17:41,131 --> 00:17:42,632
I'm saying thanks for saying it.

453
00:17:42,633 --> 00:17:45,868
It takes a big person to be so...
to say sorry

454
00:17:45,869 --> 00:17:47,603
and that was... that's a cool gesture

455
00:17:47,604 --> 00:17:49,772
and, you know, especially
when you're wrong like that.

456
00:17:49,773 --> 00:17:51,140
Um, so...

457
00:17:51,141 --> 00:17:52,408
Hey, cheers to that, though.

458
00:17:52,409 --> 00:17:54,744
I'm so happy that you misjudged me

459
00:17:54,745 --> 00:17:56,712
and think I'm great.

460
00:18:01,318 --> 00:18:02,685
Oh, I need to get another beer.

461
00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:03,886
You want another beer?

462
00:18:03,887 --> 00:18:06,889
Well, pretty tipsy already, but why not?

463
00:18:06,890 --> 00:18:09,925
- One more beer.
- One more won't kill me.

464
00:18:11,795 --> 00:18:13,362
God.

465
00:18:13,363 --> 00:18:15,698
Two years.

466
00:18:15,699 --> 00:18:17,133
Such a long time.

467
00:18:17,134 --> 00:18:19,569
Yeah.

468
00:18:19,570 --> 00:18:21,369
I get so lonely, you know.

469
00:18:22,406 --> 00:18:23,806
Yeah?

470
00:18:23,807 --> 00:18:24,974
I guess it's just that I'm...

471
00:18:24,975 --> 00:18:26,542
and I really hate this word,

472
00:18:26,543 --> 00:18:27,777
but there's no other way to say it,

473
00:18:27,778 --> 00:18:28,977
I'm horny.

474
00:18:32,282 --> 00:18:33,715
I'm so horny, Phil.

475
00:18:34,751 --> 00:18:36,219
Hmm?

476
00:18:36,220 --> 00:18:37,987
I mean, after something like this happens,

477
00:18:37,988 --> 00:18:40,022
you realize how necessary it is to be...

478
00:18:40,023 --> 00:18:42,158
you know, just touched

479
00:18:42,159 --> 00:18:45,261
and held and kissed.

480
00:18:45,262 --> 00:18:47,330
I would saw off my right arm to make out

481
00:18:47,331 --> 00:18:48,531
with a dude.

482
00:18:48,532 --> 00:18:50,366
I would, too. I would, too. It's natural.

483
00:18:50,367 --> 00:18:53,002
You know, that's why I'm so
happy for you and Carol.

484
00:18:53,003 --> 00:18:54,303
No, but...

485
00:18:54,304 --> 00:18:55,638
I mean, I know that it's not
perfect between you guys,

486
00:18:55,639 --> 00:18:57,340
but at least you have each other.

487
00:18:57,341 --> 00:18:58,641
Yeah, but I mean...

488
00:18:58,642 --> 00:19:00,776
And I respect that.

489
00:19:00,777 --> 00:19:03,379
But God, I just want to get laid.

490
00:19:05,649 --> 00:19:06,949
Sorry, that was inappropriate.

491
00:19:06,950 --> 00:19:08,117
No, no, no, no.

492
00:19:08,118 --> 00:19:09,685
I shouldn't be talking to
a married man like that.

493
00:19:09,686 --> 00:19:12,321
No, no, no, no, no. Don't
beat yourself up about that.

494
00:19:12,322 --> 00:19:13,990
It's just my luck, the only man
left on the face of the Earth

495
00:19:13,991 --> 00:19:15,391
and he's married.

496
00:19:15,392 --> 00:19:18,661
He doesn't have to be.

497
00:19:18,662 --> 00:19:20,630
What?

498
00:19:21,999 --> 00:19:23,933
I got to go have a quick talk with Carol

499
00:19:23,934 --> 00:19:25,801
and I will be right back.

500
00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:29,871
Carol!

501
00:19:30,874 --> 00:19:32,341
Coming in!

502
00:19:38,181 --> 00:19:39,582
Carol. Hi, Phil.

503
00:19:39,583 --> 00:19:40,950
I have something really important

504
00:19:40,951 --> 00:19:42,418
I need to talk to you about.

505
00:19:42,419 --> 00:19:43,519
Okay, hold on just... just putting

506
00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:45,087
the finishing touches on this project.

507
00:19:45,088 --> 00:19:48,658
I really need to talk to
you about this marriage.

508
00:19:48,659 --> 00:19:49,892
And... done.

509
00:19:49,893 --> 00:19:51,627
I think you're really going to like it.

510
00:19:51,628 --> 00:19:52,828
It's for my door.

511
00:19:52,829 --> 00:19:54,230
Oh, no.

512
00:19:54,231 --> 00:19:56,364
Home of Carol Pilbasian-Miller.

513
00:19:57,401 --> 00:19:59,168
Look, Phil,

514
00:19:59,169 --> 00:20:01,938
I know it can be an annoying job at time

515
00:20:01,939 --> 00:20:04,273
to fix the door,

516
00:20:04,274 --> 00:20:06,275
but I thought this could help.

517
00:20:06,276 --> 00:20:08,477
It's just a reminder
that I'm rooting for you

518
00:20:08,478 --> 00:20:12,214
and I believe in you, 'cause I'm your wife.

519
00:20:12,215 --> 00:20:14,583
And I know

520
00:20:14,584 --> 00:20:16,986
fixing the door may take time,

521
00:20:16,987 --> 00:20:20,656
but I believe that one day you will fix it

522
00:20:20,657 --> 00:20:23,258
and that door will be magnificent.

523
00:20:27,230 --> 00:20:30,432
Um, wh-what did you want to talk about?

524
00:20:33,971 --> 00:20:36,438
I have diarrhea.

525
00:20:37,808 --> 00:20:39,709
Thank you.

526
00:20:39,710 --> 00:20:42,211
Yep.

527
00:20:42,212 --> 00:20:44,780
Phil, you know the door
symbolizes our marriage.

528
00:20:44,781 --> 00:20:46,682
I know, Carol. I know.

529
00:20:46,683 --> 00:20:49,785
- Synced and Corrected by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -