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Previously on The Last Man on Earth...
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Melissa and I...
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: had sex.
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: Good for you.
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I just keep thinking about
if Todd wasn't here.
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Todd is here.
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Hey, bud, want to go for a ride?
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Nice try, Phil.
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I knew you were coming back the whole time.
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So did I.
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You know, one of the
positives about no people
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is that we get to see the stars, huh?
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Todd, thank you for helping
me move my dresser upstairs.
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Ah, anytime, Carol.
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It was fun, you know?
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Gave me a chance to get some
one-on-one time with you.
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So in a way, it was kind of a selfish move.
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Such a sweetie.
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Ooh, what's that, Melissa?
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Well, someone went out and
got me a charm bracelet.
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Was that someone's name Todd?
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Did Todd get that for you or...?
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- Yes.
- I got it... I got it for her.
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- Todd.
- That's so sweet.
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Phil's never gotten me anything.
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Carol, I got you that rash cream.
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I stand corrected.
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"Phil's never gotten me anything."
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As if.
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Guys, I hope you don't mind
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giving me the floor here for a minute.
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I don't know if you know this,
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but in my spare time, I like
to sculpt a little bit.
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Anyways, I had a little time
on my hands, and, uh...
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I made you all this.
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- Oh, that is so cute.
- Thanks.
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You have a real gift, Todd.
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Isn't that amazing, Phil?
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I'm blown away.
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It's frigging so awesome, Todd.
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Thanks, buddy. You know, I figured
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we'd, you know, leave it out here...
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you know, by-by the campfire.
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That's a great idea!
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Hey.
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Give me one right here.
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Ah. Fell for that old one.
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Such a sucker.
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Well, and I'd fall for
it a million times over.
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You guys are so adorable.
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Yeah, really, really adorable.
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Oh! Oh, G-God!
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Oh, no!
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No!
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I accidentally broke
Todd's awesome sculpture.
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- Ah, the Phil fell off.
- It's okay.
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Looks like it was a clean break.
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It actually looks good without the Phil.
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You know what, I can...
I can totally fix that.
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Todd.
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What can't you do?
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Hmm?
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- Stop.
- Nothing.
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- Synced and Corrected by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Carol!
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Carol!
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- What?
- Oh, hey.
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Can I borrow your DVR?
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I've watched everything on mine.
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Okay, but this one only
has Cake Bosses on it.
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Okay, great.
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- Spoiler alert...
- Oh, no, no, I don't want to...
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- The cake...
- Don't.
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- Won't fit in the...
- Ah!
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- You done?
- Van.
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Yeah.
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I gave you so many clues that
I didn't want to hear that.
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I just didn't want you to get your hopes up
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about getting the cake there in one piece.
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Okay, I understand. Thanks for telling me.
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Hey, you know, we could commingle our DVRs
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if we just lived together.
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Carol, you know how I feel about my space.
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I know, but the space isn't really helping
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with our repopulation plan.
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I mean, look at Todd and Melissa...
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They've known each other for, like,
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half the amount of time we have,
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and they're already basically
living with each other.
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Carol, there's a huge difference between
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basically living with each other
and living with each other.
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Well, can you at least fix
my door, for Pete's dragon?
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Oh, it always comes back
to the frigging door!
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Forget about it, you scrub.
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I'll just get Todd to do it then.
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Oh, God! Todd this, Todd that.
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"Todd's my hero."
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Todd?!
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Todd would probably do a better job,
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and he would do it with a
smile on his beautiful face.
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Carol, I get no respect in this community!
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In fact, the whole reason I came
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over here in the first place
was to fix your door.
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I thought it was to borrow my DVR.
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Yeah, borrowing your DVR is a
subset of fixing this door.
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Okay? See?
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I'm taking measurements
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right in front of your eyes.
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There we go. Got it.
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All right.
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You don't have to fix my door, Phil.
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I don't? Oh, thank God.
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If you let me move in with you.
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Oh, no, no, no, no, no.
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I'm fixing this door.
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Okay, there we go.
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Off to the door store.
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Gonna remember this measurement.
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I don't know how much
longer I can take this whole
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Todd lovefest!
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"Oh, hi, I'm Todd.
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"Let me kiss your ass, ladies,
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"and do a bunch of nice things for you.
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"Oh, hi, I'm Todd.
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Check out this stupid
crappy sculpture I did."
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You guys want to see a sculpture?
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This is a frigging sculpture.
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It's Thomas.
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He's perfect, right?
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I mean, I set up this
whole frigging community!
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None of them would be here
right now if it wasn't for me.
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And do I get any credit for that?
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No, I don't.
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Okay, here, I got another one.
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It's Diego.
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See, Todd, anyone can do this crap!
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Look, Todd cannot come in
here and steal my thunder.
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I mean, I'm the frigging President
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of the United States of
America, for God's sake.
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I just wish there was some way
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I could remind them of how important I am.
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Some grand gesture I could make.
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Something spectacular.
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It's got to be spectacular.
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Got to be spectacular.
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Come on, think, think, think.
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Spectacular. What's spectacular?
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What would really blow them away?
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What's a...
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You are... frigging... kidding me.
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In a moment, I'm gonna open
this door, and you're gonna see
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something that's gonna knock
your frigging socks off.
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I mean, this is a game changer.
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It's... a game changer.
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I don't know how else to put it.
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- Okay, but I have a question.
- Yeah?
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Is this going to change
the game in any way?
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Ha, ha, ha, ha.
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Maybe this will answer your question, okay?
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Bam.
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- Wow.
- I know, right?
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What an incredible empty doorway.
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Wh-What?
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Wait.
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Wow, this is really gonna change the game.
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Yeah, I mean, all I'm seeing
is a whole lot of empty space
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for one man living all alone.
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It's sad really.
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Carol, now's not the time.
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Well, it's never the time!
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- What?
- Holy cow.
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Oh, my God!
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I thought I'd never see
another animal again!
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Hi there, little lady.
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Amazing!
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Well, look what I did, huh?
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So how do you guys like your burgers?
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Ha, ha, Phil, very funny.
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The lady prefers steak?
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Oh, you're serious?
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Phil, we have to keep
this cow alive for milk.
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Hey, we don't know how to take
care of an animal like this.
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I mean, this thing will be
dead in, like, three weeks.
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So let's just do the humane thing
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and murder it now so we
can have burgers tonight.
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You know, Phil, I might be
able to help us out here.
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You've killed a cow before?
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No. As a kid, I used to spend my summers
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on my uncle's dairy farm.
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So you know how to milk it?
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I can get you milk, I can churn you butter.
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Uh, I can get you yogurt, cheese.
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Pretty much anything dairy
is at our disposal now.
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Todd, you're the best!
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I'm gonna start calling
you the milkman, milkman.
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Carol.
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With all due respect to the milkman here,
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who definitely deserves all this praise
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for basically just standing around,
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I found this thing, so it'll be
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my call what happens with it. Okay, Todd?
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No, no, no, no, no.
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Phil, just because you found the cow
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doesn't give you the right to
decide what we do with it.
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Uh, yes, it does.
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Clearly you've forgotten about
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a little something called finders keepers.
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Finders keepers?
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Are you five years old?
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And like clockwork, the losers weep.
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Phil, we aren't children, and
this isn't a playground.
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Doy!
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Come on, Phil.
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Yeah, this is ridiculous!
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Hey, hey, I'm not trying to
fight with you here, okay?
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I'm just trying to tell you what I could do
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if I was a selfish person.
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But what I will do,
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since I'm the ultimate team player,
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is bypass FK and let
this little mother live.
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Phil, that's very big of you.
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It is a pretty big sacrifice,
especially considering
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someone in our midst might be
severely lactose intolerant.
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Are you lactose intolerant?
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Yes.
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Ah, really?
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But no worries, you know.
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Just seeing the three of
you happy is my milk.
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00:08:24,690 --> 00:08:27,158
Well, aren't you a martyr?
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00:08:27,159 --> 00:08:28,726
Well, if I'm a martyr,
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then I guess you're also gonna
have to call Christ a martyr.
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Hey, Phil, you know,
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I have a ton of grass in my backyard.
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I'd be more than happy
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to keep her back there if you want.
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Nice try, Todd. No.
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I found it; it'll stay right here.
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Oh, so a barnyard animal
gets to move in with you,
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but, uh, not your own wife?
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Carol, this is perfect for the cow!
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All these hard tiles for
it to hoof around on.
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I mean, look at her, she loves it!
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Wh-Whoa, where you going, girl?!
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Looks like she's headed to Todd's.
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00:08:56,553 --> 00:08:58,888
Oh, good, good, good.
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00:09:00,891 --> 00:09:02,691
Good, good, good, good.
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Friggin' Todd.
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You like that grass, don't
you, little lady? Huh?
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00:09:06,964 --> 00:09:08,064
I'm sorry, Phil,
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00:09:08,065 --> 00:09:09,832
should we take her back to your place?
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00:09:09,833 --> 00:09:11,867
Well, I'm sure she prefers my foyer,
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00:09:11,868 --> 00:09:13,701
but, uh, you know, it's
been a really big day.
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Maybe just tonight we'll, uh,
let her stay here. Sure.
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00:09:16,505 --> 00:09:19,441
Okay, well, let's get you tied up.
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00:09:19,442 --> 00:09:21,076
My uncle taught me this knot.
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00:09:21,077 --> 00:09:23,145
It's called a clove hitch.
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00:09:23,146 --> 00:09:24,779
Yeah, the old clove hitch. Know it well.
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- Oh, you do?
- Everyone does.
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00:09:26,983 --> 00:09:28,817
Anybody want to learn how to milk a cow?
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00:09:28,818 --> 00:09:30,684
- Yes! I do!
- Oh, I do!
261
00:09:30,685 --> 00:09:31,752
- All right.
- Here you go.
262
00:09:31,753 --> 00:09:33,454
Here we go.
263
00:09:33,455 --> 00:09:35,356
So, first you grab the teat like this.
264
00:09:35,357 --> 00:09:36,723
Okay?
265
00:09:36,724 --> 00:09:38,625
You massage the teat,
266
00:09:38,626 --> 00:09:40,461
and then you gently tug on it.
267
00:09:40,462 --> 00:09:42,964
Did you really learn that
on your uncle's farm
268
00:09:42,965 --> 00:09:45,532
or during your summers working
as a male prostitute?
269
00:09:46,667 --> 00:09:48,101
That's a good one, Phil.
270
00:09:48,102 --> 00:09:50,837
Yeah, it is a risqué motion,
but it gets the job done.
271
00:09:52,773 --> 00:09:54,407
- Milk!
- We have milk!
272
00:09:54,408 --> 00:09:55,541
Oh, my gosh!
273
00:09:55,542 --> 00:09:56,709
Anybody want a sip?
274
00:09:56,710 --> 00:09:58,611
- Yeah, I do! Oh, my God!
- I do!
275
00:10:00,647 --> 00:10:02,115
Mmm.
276
00:10:02,116 --> 00:10:03,242
It's good, isn't it?
277
00:10:03,243 --> 00:10:04,243
Whoa!
278
00:10:04,244 --> 00:10:05,650
Mmm!
279
00:10:05,651 --> 00:10:06,651
Phil, you want a sip?
280
00:10:07,653 --> 00:10:09,388
Uh, God, I'm-I'm sorry, Phil.
281
00:10:09,389 --> 00:10:11,723
I forgot you're lactose intolerant.
282
00:10:11,724 --> 00:10:13,192
Yeah, yeah.
283
00:10:13,193 --> 00:10:14,360
I did say that.
284
00:10:14,361 --> 00:10:15,627
Diagnosed lactose intolerant.
285
00:10:15,628 --> 00:10:17,196
- Type 2, the worst type. Yeah.
- Sorry.
286
00:10:17,197 --> 00:10:19,131
Todd, tell us more about cows.
287
00:10:19,132 --> 00:10:20,198
Well, I don't know much.
288
00:10:20,199 --> 00:10:21,299
I know that they can go
289
00:10:21,300 --> 00:10:23,501
upstairs, but they can't come downstairs.
290
00:10:23,502 --> 00:10:25,870
Oh, my Uncle Gary was the same way.
291
00:10:25,871 --> 00:10:28,706
Maybe he had some cow genes in him.
292
00:10:28,707 --> 00:10:30,708
: Maybe.
293
00:10:30,709 --> 00:10:32,710
And I know you can't milk a bull.
294
00:10:32,711 --> 00:10:34,212
I learned that the hard way.
295
00:10:35,580 --> 00:10:36,947
A story for another time.
296
00:10:36,948 --> 00:10:38,915
Yeah.
297
00:10:40,218 --> 00:10:41,718
Oh, God.
298
00:10:41,719 --> 00:10:43,220
You know, the odor of this milk is
299
00:10:43,221 --> 00:10:44,388
really triggering my intolerance.
300
00:10:44,389 --> 00:10:45,855
Uh, you know, stomach really hurting here.
301
00:10:45,856 --> 00:10:47,491
Okay, well,
302
00:10:47,492 --> 00:10:49,592
the pain is worth it when I
see the smiles on your faces.
303
00:10:49,593 --> 00:10:50,894
I should go, I should go.
304
00:10:50,895 --> 00:10:53,130
Enjoy your milk that I found.
305
00:10:54,164 --> 00:10:55,597
Anybody want a White Russian?
306
00:10:55,598 --> 00:10:56,932
Oh, my God.
307
00:10:56,933 --> 00:10:58,634
Todd, you're the best.
308
00:10:58,635 --> 00:11:00,069
Let's get some more milk.
309
00:11:00,070 --> 00:11:01,070
Oh, my God.
310
00:11:12,714 --> 00:11:15,016
: Okay, okay, okay.
311
00:11:15,017 --> 00:11:17,318
Here we go. Yes, yes, yes.
312
00:11:18,787 --> 00:11:19,787
Okay.
313
00:11:45,179 --> 00:11:47,680
Something about a
woman who can milk a cow.
314
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:49,615
Gross, Todd.
315
00:11:51,885 --> 00:11:53,886
Frigging Todd.
316
00:11:56,790 --> 00:12:00,526
Uh-oh, Todd, you big undeserving hero.
317
00:12:00,527 --> 00:12:05,530
Looks like your clove hitch
was not cloved enough.
318
00:12:05,531 --> 00:12:08,533
And now their precious
milk and cheese and yogurt
319
00:12:08,534 --> 00:12:10,335
is going bye-bye.
320
00:12:10,336 --> 00:12:11,869
And who's to blame?
321
00:12:11,870 --> 00:12:13,205
You.
322
00:12:13,206 --> 00:12:14,206
Come on, come on.
323
00:12:14,207 --> 00:12:16,040
Come on, heel, heel.
324
00:12:16,041 --> 00:12:17,509
Mush, mush.
325
00:12:19,482 --> 00:12:21,818
God, I never thought I'd be
excited about a bowl of cereal.
326
00:12:21,819 --> 00:12:23,819
I know. I don't know if I can wait.
327
00:12:23,820 --> 00:12:25,153
Can we just go out to the cow
328
00:12:25,154 --> 00:12:27,022
- and milk it directly into the bowl?
- Guys!
329
00:12:27,023 --> 00:12:29,057
The cow's gone!
330
00:12:29,058 --> 00:12:31,026
- What?!
- It's gone!
331
00:12:31,327 --> 00:12:34,329
Look, I know you guys are
questioning my decision here,
332
00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:36,531
but this is something I had to do.
333
00:12:36,532 --> 00:12:38,466
I got to reclaim this victory.
334
00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:41,201
And that's why I got to go
twice-baked potato on their ass.
335
00:12:41,202 --> 00:12:43,069
That's a weird analogy; let me explain.
336
00:12:43,070 --> 00:12:45,572
You bake a potato once, it's delicious.
337
00:12:45,573 --> 00:12:47,907
You bake that same baked potato again,
338
00:12:47,908 --> 00:12:49,909
and-and the flavors pop even more.
339
00:12:49,910 --> 00:12:51,245
It's crisper.
340
00:12:51,246 --> 00:12:54,047
It's just, like, an unforgettable
potato experience.
341
00:12:54,048 --> 00:12:55,249
But I... hey, hey, hey.
342
00:12:55,250 --> 00:12:56,617
Leave Trevor alone.
343
00:12:56,618 --> 00:12:58,151
Anyway, you know, that's
all I'm doing here.
344
00:12:58,152 --> 00:13:00,319
Baking this cow situation again.
345
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:03,088
You know, I bring the cow back home, again,
346
00:13:03,089 --> 00:13:04,857
and I'm a hero again.
347
00:13:04,858 --> 00:13:06,559
You hang in there, girl.
348
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,427
Just got to milk this a little bit longer.
349
00:13:08,428 --> 00:13:09,595
Boom, I still got it.
350
00:13:12,432 --> 00:13:14,099
She's not back here.
351
00:13:15,201 --> 00:13:17,369
Hey, there, gang. I was just in town
352
00:13:17,370 --> 00:13:18,703
getting this cute straw hat for the cow.
353
00:13:18,704 --> 00:13:20,472
I can't wait to put it on
her furry little head.
354
00:13:20,473 --> 00:13:22,040
The cow's gone.
355
00:13:22,041 --> 00:13:23,375
Hardy har har, Carol.
356
00:13:23,376 --> 00:13:25,043
But seriously, where is that cute girl?
357
00:13:25,044 --> 00:13:26,044
She ran away.
358
00:13:26,045 --> 00:13:27,379
Okay, okay.
359
00:13:27,380 --> 00:13:29,548
This is, uh... wow.
360
00:13:29,549 --> 00:13:30,982
Okay, uh...
361
00:13:30,983 --> 00:13:32,816
Huh, hmm... huh.
362
00:13:32,817 --> 00:13:34,652
- What?!
- I don't know what happened.
363
00:13:34,653 --> 00:13:37,388
I mean, we went down there in
the middle of the night, right?
364
00:13:37,389 --> 00:13:39,290
And sh-she was all tied up
securely and everything.
365
00:13:39,291 --> 00:13:41,192
We woke up this morning, she was just gone.
366
00:13:41,193 --> 00:13:42,926
I thought you said you
tied a good clove hitch.
367
00:13:42,927 --> 00:13:45,028
I did! I mean, I... I-I thought I did.
368
00:13:45,029 --> 00:13:46,363
I'm sorry, guys.
369
00:13:46,364 --> 00:13:47,998
Uh, this is all my fault.
370
00:13:47,999 --> 00:13:49,865
I feel like I really let us down here.
371
00:13:49,866 --> 00:13:51,033
Well, this sucks!
372
00:13:51,034 --> 00:13:52,768
I can't go back to cereal and water.
373
00:13:52,769 --> 00:13:55,071
I need cheese.
374
00:13:55,072 --> 00:13:57,340
Guys, look at me and listen to me.
375
00:13:57,341 --> 00:13:59,509
I know we're all frustrated,
but hear this, okay?
376
00:13:59,510 --> 00:14:02,412
We have to fight the
very natural temptation
377
00:14:02,413 --> 00:14:04,447
to assign blame right now.
378
00:14:04,448 --> 00:14:06,348
Blaming Todd is not gonna be productive.
379
00:14:06,349 --> 00:14:07,849
No one's blaming Todd.
380
00:14:07,850 --> 00:14:10,185
That's the spirit, Meliss, okay?
381
00:14:10,186 --> 00:14:12,821
And I want us to all keep not blaming Todd.
382
00:14:12,822 --> 00:14:14,989
He's suffering enough right now.
383
00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:16,558
Because mathematically,
384
00:14:16,559 --> 00:14:18,560
100% of the blame lies at his feet.
385
00:14:18,561 --> 00:14:19,928
Hundred percent.
386
00:14:19,929 --> 00:14:21,330
This is not your fault.
387
00:14:21,331 --> 00:14:23,497
And yet, at the same time, it is. Hmm.
388
00:14:23,498 --> 00:14:25,266
But, hey, no worries.
389
00:14:25,267 --> 00:14:27,167
- I got this.
- What?
390
00:14:27,168 --> 00:14:28,836
I'm gonna go find that cow, okay?
391
00:14:28,837 --> 00:14:30,638
So you guys just hang here and relax, okay?
392
00:14:30,639 --> 00:14:32,373
Ah, Phil, l-let me help
in some way, please.
393
00:14:32,374 --> 00:14:34,041
Hey, hey, I got this.
394
00:14:34,042 --> 00:14:36,277
I found it the first time,
I can find it again.
395
00:14:36,278 --> 00:14:37,678
Trust me.
396
00:14:37,679 --> 00:14:40,046
You know exactly where that
cow is, don't you, Phil?
397
00:14:41,115 --> 00:14:42,549
: What?
398
00:14:42,550 --> 00:14:43,916
I do not.
399
00:14:43,917 --> 00:14:44,984
You're lying.
400
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,119
Where were you this morning?
401
00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:47,287
Where was I this morning?!
402
00:14:47,288 --> 00:14:48,955
I was getting this hat for the cow
403
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:50,423
this morning at a hat store.
404
00:14:50,424 --> 00:14:51,725
And that is why I'm holding it.
405
00:14:52,693 --> 00:14:54,093
Carol, help me out here.
406
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:55,328
Don't look at me, Phil.
407
00:14:55,329 --> 00:14:57,596
If we lived together, you'd have an alibi.
408
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:01,800
I had nothing to do with this.
409
00:15:01,801 --> 00:15:03,435
Then why don't we all go search?
410
00:15:03,436 --> 00:15:05,070
Let's all search?
411
00:15:06,740 --> 00:15:07,740
Sorry.
412
00:15:07,741 --> 00:15:08,741
Yeah, okay.
413
00:15:08,742 --> 00:15:10,643
Yeah, let's all search.
414
00:15:10,644 --> 00:15:13,778
So, we'll each take a quadrant.
415
00:15:13,779 --> 00:15:15,613
Okay, as president, I get first choice.
416
00:15:15,614 --> 00:15:16,947
No, I'll take the first choice.
417
00:15:16,948 --> 00:15:19,150
- But, Melissa...
- Where was that bar you showed me?
418
00:15:19,151 --> 00:15:21,152
Uh...
419
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:22,887
- Phil? Where's the bar?
- Mm-hmm?
420
00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:25,757
Uh... the bar. Oh, geez, uh, yeah.
421
00:15:25,758 --> 00:15:26,857
It's right, uh, right there.
422
00:15:26,858 --> 00:15:28,693
- I want that one.
- Oh, okay.
423
00:15:28,694 --> 00:15:30,694
Yeah, Phil, I'll take this guy right here.
424
00:15:30,695 --> 00:15:33,697
: Give Phil a big open section,
425
00:15:33,698 --> 00:15:35,699
because he loves his space.
426
00:15:35,700 --> 00:15:38,902
Did you guys hear? He
won't live with his wife.
427
00:15:38,903 --> 00:15:40,804
- MELISSA and TODD: Yeah, we've heard.
- Yeah.
428
00:15:40,805 --> 00:15:42,773
Okay, so, uh, I guess I
will take this quadrant.
429
00:15:42,774 --> 00:15:45,442
Unless anybody else, uh,
wants to switch, Melissa?
430
00:15:45,443 --> 00:15:46,976
A-Anybody?
431
00:15:46,977 --> 00:15:48,110
No?
432
00:15:48,111 --> 00:15:49,445
Would you like mine?
433
00:15:49,446 --> 00:15:51,113
Like, I'll trade with...
434
00:15:51,114 --> 00:15:52,548
- No, we'll stay with our quadrants.
- Okay.
435
00:15:52,549 --> 00:15:54,550
Okay, so it is about 10:00 AM
436
00:15:54,551 --> 00:15:56,051
Uh, wherever that cow is,
437
00:15:56,052 --> 00:15:57,586
she's probably hunkered down for the night.
438
00:15:57,587 --> 00:15:59,021
So best we just
439
00:15:59,022 --> 00:16:00,790
sit tight for now and, uh, you know,
440
00:16:00,791 --> 00:16:02,458
hit it hard first thing in the morning?
441
00:16:02,459 --> 00:16:04,059
If you don't mind, I'm gonna
start my search right now.
442
00:16:04,060 --> 00:16:05,427
Uh, okay.
443
00:16:05,428 --> 00:16:07,895
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
444
00:16:34,622 --> 00:16:37,190
Oh, the cow's gone.
445
00:16:37,191 --> 00:16:40,426
Thank God. Thank God.
446
00:16:42,929 --> 00:16:46,165
Where's the frigging cow?
447
00:16:46,166 --> 00:16:48,201
Gary!
448
00:16:50,798 --> 00:16:52,866
Come on, where are you,
you old piece of crap?
449
00:16:52,867 --> 00:16:55,168
How the heck did you get out of that bar?
450
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,108
Frigging Todd.
451
00:17:03,477 --> 00:17:04,943
You found the cow!
452
00:17:04,944 --> 00:17:06,112
Ha!
453
00:17:06,113 --> 00:17:07,746
Yeah, she was just right down the street
454
00:17:07,747 --> 00:17:09,081
in somebody's front yard.
455
00:17:09,082 --> 00:17:10,616
Good for you, good for you.
456
00:17:10,617 --> 00:17:12,751
Yeah, girls are gonna be
real happy you found it.
457
00:17:12,752 --> 00:17:15,086
Yeah.
458
00:17:15,087 --> 00:17:16,721
See you back at the... yeah.
459
00:17:18,357 --> 00:17:19,690
Hey, Phil.
460
00:17:21,994 --> 00:17:23,628
If you don't mind,
461
00:17:23,629 --> 00:17:25,497
I'm gonna tell the girls you found the cow.
462
00:17:25,498 --> 00:17:27,899
What?
463
00:17:27,900 --> 00:17:30,534
I feel bad about the way
Melissa came down on you,
464
00:17:30,535 --> 00:17:32,569
and I think it's the right thing to do.
465
00:17:32,570 --> 00:17:35,339
Wow.
466
00:17:35,340 --> 00:17:38,242
Why would you want to do
something like that for me?
467
00:17:39,310 --> 00:17:41,545
You really don't know, do you?
468
00:17:41,546 --> 00:17:43,613
Know what?
469
00:17:43,614 --> 00:17:45,949
Phil...
470
00:17:45,950 --> 00:17:48,284
you've done so much for me.
471
00:17:48,285 --> 00:17:50,719
I mean, if it wasn't for those
"Alive in Tucson" billboards,
472
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:52,422
I wouldn't even be here right now.
473
00:17:52,423 --> 00:17:56,892
But because I am, I'm with
the woman of my dreams.
474
00:17:56,893 --> 00:17:59,562
I've got two great friends
in you and Carol.
475
00:17:59,563 --> 00:18:01,897
I've got a cow that's
gonna make me milkshakes.
476
00:18:01,898 --> 00:18:04,166
I'm just so happy right now.
477
00:18:05,234 --> 00:18:07,369
That's all because of you, man.
478
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,008
Thanks, Todd. I mean...
479
00:18:14,009 --> 00:18:16,711
I don't think I could possibly
take credit for finding that...
480
00:18:16,712 --> 00:18:17,845
I found the cow!
481
00:18:17,846 --> 00:18:19,013
Yes!
482
00:18:20,649 --> 00:18:22,316
TODD and MELISSA: Mmm.
483
00:18:23,718 --> 00:18:25,052
Mmm.
484
00:18:25,053 --> 00:18:27,020
Mmm.
485
00:18:27,021 --> 00:18:28,522
- Mmm.
- Mmm.
486
00:18:28,523 --> 00:18:30,057
So good. Mmm.
487
00:18:31,226 --> 00:18:33,060
Oh, I've heard those sounds before.
488
00:18:33,061 --> 00:18:34,195
Wink, wink.
489
00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:40,500
Mmm.
490
00:18:41,635 --> 00:18:43,570
Hey, sorry about flipping
out earlier, Phil.
491
00:18:43,571 --> 00:18:45,705
Good job finding the cow.
492
00:18:45,706 --> 00:18:48,441
Mm, guess I just got lucky.
493
00:18:52,246 --> 00:18:53,913
Mmm!
494
00:18:53,914 --> 00:18:55,280
That is good.
495
00:18:55,281 --> 00:18:57,583
Wait, I thought you were
lactose intolerant.
496
00:18:59,619 --> 00:19:01,286
It's my cheat day.
497
00:19:13,465 --> 00:19:14,465
You guys hear that?
498
00:19:14,466 --> 00:19:15,799
Yeah.
499
00:19:15,800 --> 00:19:17,034
Ow! Damn it.
500
00:19:17,035 --> 00:19:18,436
Carol?
501
00:19:20,105 --> 00:19:21,772
Oh, my God!
502
00:19:21,773 --> 00:19:23,274
This is priceless.
503
00:19:23,275 --> 00:19:25,276
So classic.
504
00:19:25,277 --> 00:19:27,245
And remember, Todd said these
things don't go down stairs.
505
00:19:27,246 --> 00:19:29,246
So this thing's in here forever.
506
00:19:29,247 --> 00:19:30,880
Burn.
507
00:19:30,881 --> 00:19:32,782
I think the burn's more on you, Phil.
508
00:19:32,783 --> 00:19:34,284
What? How so?
509
00:19:34,285 --> 00:19:36,286
I'm not bunking down with a cow.
510
00:19:36,287 --> 00:19:37,787
Big news, everyone.
511
00:19:37,788 --> 00:19:40,624
I'm finally moving in with my husband.
512
00:19:40,625 --> 00:19:42,425
Burn. No, but-but...
513
00:19:42,426 --> 00:19:43,660
Uh...
514
00:19:43,661 --> 00:19:45,629
And just think, this could
have all been avoided
515
00:19:45,630 --> 00:19:48,063
if you'd fixed my gol-dang door.
516
00:19:57,840 --> 00:20:00,309
Isn't this great?
517
00:20:00,310 --> 00:20:03,611
The best.
518
00:20:03,612 --> 00:20:06,614
So what exactly happened
again with the cow?
519
00:20:06,615 --> 00:20:08,650
It was a double clove hitch knot.
520
00:20:08,651 --> 00:20:10,385
I don't know.
521
00:20:10,386 --> 00:20:13,988
It's one of those freak
happenings, you know?
522
00:20:13,989 --> 00:20:17,858
Here, I'll tell you
exactly how it went down.
523
00:20:17,859 --> 00:20:19,860
I couldn't sleep.
524
00:20:19,861 --> 00:20:22,696
So I went downstairs, and
I got myself a snack.
525
00:20:22,697 --> 00:20:25,465
And then I went to the living room,
526
00:20:25,466 --> 00:20:27,734
and I reread a Twilight.
527
00:20:27,735 --> 00:20:30,637
Then I did some knitting.
528
00:20:30,638 --> 00:20:33,674
Then I got drowsy, so I
walked back upstairs,
529
00:20:33,675 --> 00:20:37,476
and I got into bed,
and then I fell asleep.
530
00:20:37,477 --> 00:20:39,778
And I woke up, and there was
a cow in my face.
531
00:20:41,981 --> 00:20:44,584
And that's exactly what happened.
532
00:20:44,585 --> 00:20:46,085
Really?
533
00:20:46,086 --> 00:20:47,537
Hey, it all worked out
534
00:20:47,538 --> 00:20:50,600
- for the best, right?
- Yep.
535
00:20:50,601 --> 00:20:54,904
- Good night, Mr. President.
- Good night.
536
00:20:54,905 --> 00:20:58,460
- Synced and Corrected by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -