﻿1
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<i>Previously on The Last Man on Earth...</i>

2
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You were gonna go skinny dipping?

3
00:00:04,619 --> 00:00:05,446
It was a prank.

4
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You just sprayed the wrong dog.

5
00:00:07,070 --> 00:00:08,268
We should have never gotten married,

6
00:00:08,269 --> 00:00:09,609
and I'm really, really sorry.

7
00:00:09,610 --> 00:00:10,773
Divorce papers?

8
00:00:10,774 --> 00:00:11,851
You're better off without me.

9
00:00:13,129 --> 00:00:16,218
So the reason Phil and
I called you here tonight is

10
00:00:16,219 --> 00:00:17,883
to let you know that we have made

11
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the mutual decision to get divorced.

12
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The big D.

13
00:00:22,158 --> 00:00:25,160
You know, we truly do want
what's best for each other.

14
00:00:25,161 --> 00:00:27,496
Which means we'll be avoiding
each other like the plague.

15
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I'm just kidding.

16
00:00:29,231 --> 00:00:31,232
Carol knows that my door is always open.

17
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Oh, not as open as my door

18
00:00:32,835 --> 00:00:34,636
that you promised to fix but never did.

19
00:00:36,805 --> 00:00:37,805
We'll never lose this.

20
00:00:37,806 --> 00:00:39,173
This is, uh, here to stay.

21
00:00:39,174 --> 00:00:40,975
Hey, to Carol.

22
00:00:40,976 --> 00:00:42,610
Oh.

23
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I sincerely hope you find the happiness

24
00:00:44,613 --> 00:00:46,112
that I was never able to give you.

25
00:00:46,113 --> 00:00:47,113
- And...
- And I mean that.

26
00:00:47,114 --> 00:00:48,448
And to Phil.

27
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:51,852
Thank you for three wonderful
weeks of marriage.

28
00:00:51,853 --> 00:00:53,319
Three weeks...?!

29
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,556
Specifically the first day and
a half was really something.

30
00:00:55,557 --> 00:00:58,025
- Hear, hear.
- Hm.

31
00:00:58,026 --> 00:01:00,694
Ah, enough chit-chat.

32
00:01:00,695 --> 00:01:02,162
Who wants to dance?

33
00:01:02,163 --> 00:01:03,495
Hit it, Gail.

34
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- Synced and Corrected by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -

35
00:01:35,127 --> 00:01:38,028
Carol, I'm throwing paint
into a wood chipper

36
00:01:38,029 --> 00:01:39,630
right now, for no reason!

37
00:01:39,631 --> 00:01:41,732
Just mindless, messy fun.

38
00:01:43,302 --> 00:01:46,270
'Cause I don't have to
answer to anybody anymore!

39
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Anybody!

40
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Oh, shoot.

41
00:01:59,450 --> 00:02:00,784
Ugh, whatever.

42
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Come in.

43
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Gail.

44
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Hey, Phil.

45
00:02:06,290 --> 00:02:07,957
Hey, indeed. Hey, indeed.

46
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What can I do you for?

47
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:10,892
I did not realize

48
00:02:10,893 --> 00:02:13,895
that you and Carol were only
married for three weeks.

49
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That puts kind of a different
little spin on things.

50
00:02:17,300 --> 00:02:18,867
Oh, yeah?

51
00:02:18,868 --> 00:02:20,202
Oh, yeah.

52
00:02:20,203 --> 00:02:21,870
I just thought I'd come by and see

53
00:02:21,871 --> 00:02:23,806
if maybe you wanted to have a little fun.

54
00:02:23,807 --> 00:02:26,475
Well, you know.

55
00:02:26,476 --> 00:02:27,809
I love fun, you know?

56
00:02:27,810 --> 00:02:29,143
Big fun enthusiast.

57
00:02:29,144 --> 00:02:30,478
- Uh.
- Mmm.

58
00:02:30,479 --> 00:02:32,146
What you, uh...

59
00:02:32,147 --> 00:02:36,150
whatcha thinkin' 'bout, uh, fun-wise?

60
00:02:36,151 --> 00:02:37,485
Um...

61
00:02:37,486 --> 00:02:40,488
I'm sure we can think of something.

62
00:02:40,489 --> 00:02:42,289
Oh, God, no doubt.

63
00:02:42,290 --> 00:02:44,191
Two adults searching for fun.

64
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Yeah, prospects are good.

65
00:02:48,195 --> 00:02:50,196
So, uh...

66
00:02:50,197 --> 00:02:52,532
We talking, like...

67
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watch a movie or...?

68
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No, Phil, I don't want to watch a movie.

69
00:02:55,903 --> 00:02:57,237
Wh-Why? Do you want to watch a movie?

70
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No, no, I just want to do
whatever you want to do.

71
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You know, whatever's in that mind of yours.

72
00:03:00,675 --> 00:03:03,008
Well, Phil, you are in luck,

73
00:03:03,009 --> 00:03:04,977
because a couple of very detailed plans

74
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just popped into my head.

75
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Why don't you, uh, debrief me?

76
00:03:10,950 --> 00:03:12,251
That can be arranged.

77
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Hey, guys.

78
00:03:13,787 --> 00:03:16,121
Just picking up more of my stuff.

79
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Divorce, right?

80
00:03:17,624 --> 00:03:20,024
Carol, now's not the... the best time.

81
00:03:20,025 --> 00:03:21,225
Oh, don't mind me.

82
00:03:21,226 --> 00:03:23,294
You guys just go back
to what you were doing.

83
00:03:24,697 --> 00:03:25,963
Why don't I come back later?

84
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Say around 3:00?

85
00:03:27,633 --> 00:03:28,966
Hmm.

86
00:03:28,967 --> 00:03:31,969
Might be up doing some chores
in my bedroom about that time.

87
00:03:31,970 --> 00:03:33,538
Well, why don't we just meet up there?

88
00:03:33,539 --> 00:03:34,806
Okay.

89
00:03:34,807 --> 00:03:36,807
See you later, Phil.

90
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- A little breakfast for my lady.
- Aw...

91
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Aw. Thank you, Todd.

92
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You know how I love butt pancakes.

93
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Oh, woops. Sorry.

94
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- An upside down butt.
- Yep.

95
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Even better.

96
00:03:50,288 --> 00:03:51,622
Well, I hope you like it.

97
00:03:51,623 --> 00:03:54,390
And I mean that from the
bottom of my upside down butt.

98
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What?

99
00:03:59,897 --> 00:04:02,899
Nothing, I just...

100
00:04:02,900 --> 00:04:04,333
I'm happier than I've ever been.

101
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It's all because of you.

102
00:04:05,669 --> 00:04:07,102
Todd...

103
00:04:07,103 --> 00:04:09,405
No, I mean it... you know?

104
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When I was out there, you know,

105
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the world was dark and empty.

106
00:04:14,777 --> 00:04:17,712
Then you came along, and
you filled it with light.

107
00:04:19,682 --> 00:04:22,684
I guess what I'm saying is...

108
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I love you, Melissa.

109
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,321
Todd...

110
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Thank you.

111
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You're welcome.

112
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- Ah...
- Hey, Phil.

113
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G'day, Erica.

114
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G'day, cow.

115
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Someone's in a good mood.

116
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Oh, is she talking to you, girl?

117
00:04:52,045 --> 00:04:54,146
You in a good moooooood?

118
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A little cow humor.

119
00:04:55,415 --> 00:04:57,416
So single life's treating you well?

120
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Oh, yeah.

121
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Breaking up was definitely in...

122
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in everybody's best interest, you know?

123
00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:02,754
And I wish Carol all the best.

124
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And she does the same for me.

125
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- She's a good kid.
- Hm.

126
00:05:05,257 --> 00:05:06,424
And I'm a good kid.

127
00:05:06,425 --> 00:05:07,759
We're good kids. Mm.

128
00:05:07,760 --> 00:05:10,095
Hey, so I was thinking

129
00:05:10,096 --> 00:05:13,331
about going on a hike later,
at this bluff I found.

130
00:05:13,332 --> 00:05:14,733
Yeah?

131
00:05:14,734 --> 00:05:17,135
Do you have any interest in that?

132
00:05:17,136 --> 00:05:19,403
I'll call that bluff any
day of the week, you know?

133
00:05:19,404 --> 00:05:21,038
Love to go on a hike with you.

134
00:05:21,039 --> 00:05:22,473
Big hiking enthusiast.

135
00:05:22,474 --> 00:05:24,141
Got all the gear, got the mindset.

136
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Let's do it, let's do it.

137
00:05:25,477 --> 00:05:26,811
Let's get that hike on.

138
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Shall we say 5:00?

139
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5:00 is perfect.

140
00:05:29,447 --> 00:05:31,281
It's, like, heaven-sent.

141
00:05:31,282 --> 00:05:33,618
I got a little appointment at
3:00, but knowing my history,

142
00:05:33,619 --> 00:05:35,952
that won't last anywhere near two hours.

143
00:05:35,953 --> 00:05:37,754
So 5:00 it is, yes, yes, yes.

144
00:05:37,755 --> 00:05:38,755
I'll see you at 5:00.

145
00:05:38,756 --> 00:05:39,756
<i>I'll see you at 5:00.</i>

146
00:05:43,661 --> 00:05:46,596
You see what just happened
there, didn't you?

147
00:05:50,601 --> 00:05:52,267
Hey, bud. You okay?

148
00:05:52,268 --> 00:05:54,302
Why are you out here walking all alone?

149
00:05:56,305 --> 00:06:00,108
I told Melissa I loved her, and
she didn't say anything back.

150
00:06:00,109 --> 00:06:01,443
Oh, that's a major burn.

151
00:06:01,444 --> 00:06:03,445
Oh, that's horrible.

152
00:06:03,446 --> 00:06:04,947
You must feel like crap.

153
00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,615
God, that is a bummer.

154
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,316
That's... that's big time.

155
00:06:08,317 --> 00:06:10,284
That's a big time...

156
00:06:10,285 --> 00:06:11,285
That sucks.

157
00:06:11,286 --> 00:06:12,386
Yeah.

158
00:06:12,387 --> 00:06:14,055
Hey, even if she wasn't into you,

159
00:06:14,056 --> 00:06:15,723
we're the only two guys around, okay?

160
00:06:15,724 --> 00:06:17,659
And she hates me, so I think you're safe.

161
00:06:17,660 --> 00:06:18,860
You know, I just keep thinking,

162
00:06:18,861 --> 00:06:20,327
you know, if we all showed up,

163
00:06:20,328 --> 00:06:22,129
what's to say other people won't show up?

164
00:06:22,130 --> 00:06:24,666
Relax, nobody else is gonna show up.

165
00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:25,999
Well, how can you be so sure?

166
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,500
Because I am.

167
00:06:27,501 --> 00:06:28,835
Look, I'm finally single again.

168
00:06:28,836 --> 00:06:31,838
I-I'm friends with my ex, and
I have two dates lined up,

169
00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:33,506
one of which is a straight-up sex date.

170
00:06:33,507 --> 00:06:35,141
I'm about 69 percent sure of that.

171
00:06:35,142 --> 00:06:36,877
I have even more to lose than you.

172
00:06:36,878 --> 00:06:39,212
And do I look nervous about it?

173
00:06:39,213 --> 00:06:40,681
No, you don't.

174
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Good.

175
00:06:42,216 --> 00:06:44,216
'Cause I'm not.

176
00:06:44,217 --> 00:06:45,551
Go ahead.

177
00:07:01,901 --> 00:07:04,903
I got a good thing going here, Tucson.

178
00:07:04,904 --> 00:07:07,238
I don't need anyone showing
up to blow it for me.

179
00:07:16,082 --> 00:07:17,815
Hmm.

180
00:07:17,816 --> 00:07:21,485
Just a little insurance,
and I am good to...

181
00:07:21,486 --> 00:07:23,821
No...!

182
00:07:26,491 --> 00:07:28,158
Oh, farts.

183
00:07:30,298 --> 00:07:31,632
Help!

184
00:07:31,633 --> 00:07:33,166
Help!

185
00:07:33,922 --> 00:07:35,589
Oh, God, please help!

186
00:07:35,590 --> 00:07:37,458
Please help me!

187
00:07:40,894 --> 00:07:42,561
I can make that. I can make that.

188
00:07:42,562 --> 00:07:44,563
If I land just right, I can make it.

189
00:07:44,564 --> 00:07:45,897
I just have to land exactly right.

190
00:07:45,898 --> 00:07:47,466
Just have to land it perfectly.

191
00:07:48,801 --> 00:07:52,104
Two beautiful women waiting
for you at home, Phil.

192
00:07:52,105 --> 00:07:54,773
Now, stick the landing and get home

193
00:07:54,774 --> 00:07:56,707
and make love to those women!

194
00:07:58,077 --> 00:07:59,410
One...

195
00:07:59,411 --> 00:08:00,845
Two...

196
00:08:00,846 --> 00:08:03,514
Help me!

197
00:08:03,515 --> 00:08:05,916
Help me, I'm gonna die up here!

198
00:08:05,917 --> 00:08:08,652
Help!

199
00:08:08,653 --> 00:08:11,655
I am so scared!

200
00:08:14,325 --> 00:08:16,326
Phil?

201
00:08:16,327 --> 00:08:18,161
It's 3:00.

202
00:08:20,531 --> 00:08:22,199
Phil...?

203
00:08:23,301 --> 00:08:24,634
Phil?

204
00:08:31,941 --> 00:08:33,609
You dirty dog.

205
00:08:50,792 --> 00:08:52,827
Oh, finally, some shade.

206
00:08:53,529 --> 00:08:55,696
No...!

207
00:08:55,697 --> 00:08:57,698
You were my shade!

208
00:08:57,699 --> 00:08:59,700
And my pants!

209
00:09:00,702 --> 00:09:02,037
Phil?

210
00:09:05,340 --> 00:09:07,307
Gail...

211
00:09:07,308 --> 00:09:08,775
Gail.

212
00:09:10,978 --> 00:09:12,979
Erica.

213
00:09:12,980 --> 00:09:15,482
What are you doing here?
I was supposed to meet up with Phil.

214
00:09:15,483 --> 00:09:16,816
So was I.

215
00:09:16,817 --> 00:09:18,818
Yeah, I can see that.

216
00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:20,387
Guess we got double-booked.

217
00:09:20,388 --> 00:09:22,488
And double stood up.

218
00:09:22,489 --> 00:09:24,890
- Phil.
- Friggin' Phil.

219
00:09:24,891 --> 00:09:26,225
Phil, oh...

220
00:09:26,226 --> 00:09:27,560
Wow!

221
00:09:27,561 --> 00:09:28,894
You didn't waste any time.

222
00:09:28,895 --> 00:09:31,097
Carol, Phil and I were
just gonna go hiking.

223
00:09:31,098 --> 00:09:33,599
I don't need to know your
little Australian terms

224
00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:35,468
for when a man plays with your breasts.

225
00:09:35,469 --> 00:09:38,503
Gail, I suppose that you
were gonna go "hiking," too?

226
00:09:38,504 --> 00:09:40,505
No, we were gonna have sex.

227
00:09:40,506 --> 00:09:44,576
Not upset, just know you're
getting my sloppy seconds.

228
00:09:45,744 --> 00:09:47,412
And they were sloppy.

229
00:09:51,117 --> 00:09:53,585
Good morning.

230
00:09:53,586 --> 00:09:55,586
Here you go.

231
00:09:55,587 --> 00:09:57,588
Breakfast is served.

232
00:09:57,589 --> 00:09:58,922
What's this?

233
00:09:58,923 --> 00:10:00,091
Uh, did I miss something?

234
00:10:00,092 --> 00:10:01,225
It's juice, syrup, pancake.

235
00:10:01,226 --> 00:10:02,226
All there.

236
00:10:02,227 --> 00:10:03,394
Todd, what's wrong?

237
00:10:03,395 --> 00:10:05,696
Nothing's wrong,
everything's great.

238
00:10:05,697 --> 00:10:07,731
Look, I'm sorry about the other day.

239
00:10:07,732 --> 00:10:10,734
It's just I don't take
saying the L-word lightly.

240
00:10:13,104 --> 00:10:15,105
Please don't read more into it than that.

241
00:10:15,106 --> 00:10:16,172
I won't.

242
00:10:16,173 --> 00:10:17,207
I'm already not.

243
00:10:17,208 --> 00:10:18,174
Look.

244
00:10:22,480 --> 00:10:23,613
All fixed.

245
00:10:24,748 --> 00:10:26,782
Want some?

246
00:10:29,552 --> 00:10:30,885
No.

247
00:10:51,773 --> 00:10:53,874
So...

248
00:10:53,875 --> 00:10:55,776
How was your little

249
00:10:55,777 --> 00:10:58,879
ménage à three-way with my
very recent ex-husband?

250
00:10:58,880 --> 00:11:00,381
He never showed up.

251
00:11:00,382 --> 00:11:01,982
What?

252
00:11:01,983 --> 00:11:03,783
Phil Miller missed out on a chance

253
00:11:03,784 --> 00:11:05,185
to have sex with two women?

254
00:11:06,621 --> 00:11:08,555
Oh, my God.

255
00:11:08,556 --> 00:11:11,191
Phil's dead.

256
00:11:28,007 --> 00:11:31,510
So, as you know, Phil's been
missing for about 24 hours,

257
00:11:31,511 --> 00:11:33,379
and I think we need to look for him.

258
00:11:33,380 --> 00:11:34,913
I'm sure he's fine.

259
00:11:34,914 --> 00:11:36,415
Maybe we should organize a search party.

260
00:11:36,416 --> 00:11:37,415
Where do we start?

261
00:11:37,416 --> 00:11:38,883
Well, who saw him last?

262
00:11:40,152 --> 00:11:41,319
Oh, there he is.

263
00:11:42,988 --> 00:11:44,656
No, that's not Phil's truck.

264
00:11:44,657 --> 00:11:46,724
Well, then whose truck is it?

265
00:11:46,725 --> 00:11:50,328
Oh, my God.

266
00:11:55,966 --> 00:11:58,034
This guy belong to you?

267
00:11:58,936 --> 00:12:00,536
So I was driving down Route 77...

268
00:12:00,537 --> 00:12:02,738
I saw a ladder laying beside a billboard.

269
00:12:03,601 --> 00:12:05,301
So I looked up at the sign,
I saw something move.

270
00:12:05,302 --> 00:12:06,402
Now, you know, it's not often

271
00:12:06,403 --> 00:12:08,404
you catch something moving these days.

272
00:12:08,405 --> 00:12:10,606
So I stopped to check it
out, and I found this guy

273
00:12:10,607 --> 00:12:12,098
passed out in his underwear.

274
00:12:12,099 --> 00:12:15,334
I was surprised he didn't notice
the ladder behind the billboard.

275
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:16,970
There was a ladder?

276
00:12:16,971 --> 00:12:19,739
Thank you so much for
bringing him back to us.

277
00:12:19,740 --> 00:12:21,975
Sorry, we don't
even know your name.

278
00:12:21,976 --> 00:12:23,342
I'm Phil; Phil Miller.

279
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:24,677
- I'm...
- What?

280
00:12:24,678 --> 00:12:27,679
- Wait, your name is Phil Miller?
- Excuse me?

281
00:12:28,012 --> 00:12:29,345
- I'm Phil Miller.
- Hold it.

282
00:12:29,346 --> 00:12:31,414
He's in shock... he's just
repeating what I'm saying.

283
00:12:31,415 --> 00:12:33,449
No, his name really is Phil Miller.

284
00:12:33,450 --> 00:12:34,750
Seven people left on Earth,

285
00:12:34,751 --> 00:12:36,419
and two of them are named Phil Miller?

286
00:12:36,420 --> 00:12:38,054
And they could not be
more different.

287
00:12:38,055 --> 00:12:41,390
I mean, apples and and oranges.

288
00:12:41,391 --> 00:12:42,725
Your name really is Phil Miller?

289
00:12:42,726 --> 00:12:44,159
- Are you...
- Okay, folks.

290
00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:46,094
Situation is we got two Phil Millers.

291
00:12:46,095 --> 00:12:47,562
- I'm Phil Miller.
- Okay, okay.

292
00:12:47,563 --> 00:12:49,731
Well, tell us about yourself.

293
00:12:49,732 --> 00:12:51,834
I mean, who is Phil Miller?

294
00:12:51,835 --> 00:12:52,968
Well, I'm from North Carolina.

295
00:12:52,969 --> 00:12:54,669
Get out of town. Me, too.

296
00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:56,071
- What part?
- I was stationed at Fort Bragg.

297
00:12:56,072 --> 00:12:57,439
Former military.

298
00:12:57,440 --> 00:12:58,941
My dad was in the military.

299
00:12:58,942 --> 00:13:01,242
- I did military.
- Phil...

300
00:13:01,243 --> 00:13:02,944
No, but I was military.

301
00:13:02,945 --> 00:13:04,578
- I'm not making that up...
- Go on, new Phil.

302
00:13:04,579 --> 00:13:06,013
Well, after I left the Special Forces,

303
00:13:06,014 --> 00:13:07,114
I became a contractor,

304
00:13:07,115 --> 00:13:08,515
mostly for Habitat for Humanity,

305
00:13:08,516 --> 00:13:11,085
but also to make a buck here and there.

306
00:13:11,086 --> 00:13:13,187
That's awesome. I-I also did
Habitat for Humanity in college.

307
00:13:13,188 --> 00:13:14,688
Yeah, that's right.

308
00:13:14,689 --> 00:13:17,491
Yeah, hey, Phil, I'm Todd,
Melissa's boyfriend.

309
00:13:17,492 --> 00:13:18,658
It's so nice

310
00:13:18,659 --> 00:13:20,460
to have someone here with practical skills.

311
00:13:20,461 --> 00:13:22,863
I mean, none of us have any
idea what we're doing.

312
00:13:22,864 --> 00:13:24,331
I wouldn't say none of us.

313
00:13:24,332 --> 00:13:25,665
So, when are you guys going to Tampa?

314
00:13:25,666 --> 00:13:27,300
What do you mean? Uh...

315
00:13:27,301 --> 00:13:28,969
When I found Phil, he had written

316
00:13:28,970 --> 00:13:30,904
"Moved to Tampa" on the billboard.

317
00:13:30,905 --> 00:13:33,373
Ah, yeah, let's just keep
talking about something else.

318
00:13:33,374 --> 00:13:34,774
Why would you do that, Phil?

319
00:13:34,775 --> 00:13:36,441
- Prank.
- We all know why.

320
00:13:36,442 --> 00:13:38,577
He was finally gonna get a
chance to sow his oats,

321
00:13:38,578 --> 00:13:40,980
and he didn't want anyone else
to come in and ruin it for him.

322
00:13:40,981 --> 00:13:41,881
Disgusting.

323
00:13:43,316 --> 00:13:45,684
Well, Phil Miller, why don't you let us

324
00:13:45,685 --> 00:13:47,786
give you a little tour of the neighborhood?

325
00:13:47,787 --> 00:13:48,787
- It's late. We do it now.
- Yeah, come on.

326
00:13:48,788 --> 00:13:49,889
You need help get-getting up?

327
00:13:49,890 --> 00:13:50,856
- Please, here. There you go.
- Oh, thank you.

328
00:13:50,857 --> 00:13:51,857
Why not?

329
00:13:51,858 --> 00:13:53,657
- Gentleman.
- Do you walk, Phil?

330
00:13:53,658 --> 00:13:55,260
All right, Phil.

331
00:13:58,297 --> 00:13:59,864
I'm Phil Miller.

332
00:13:59,865 --> 00:14:02,033
Well, that guy's handsome.

333
00:14:02,034 --> 00:14:04,835
So we now have a super
handsome guy on the block.

334
00:14:04,836 --> 00:14:06,104
That's fun, huh?

335
00:14:06,105 --> 00:14:07,805
Just fell from the sky

336
00:14:07,806 --> 00:14:11,208
like a gosh dang angel.

337
00:14:11,209 --> 00:14:12,509
- Todd?
- Yeah?

338
00:14:12,510 --> 00:14:13,643
We doing okay?

339
00:14:13,644 --> 00:14:14,744
Yeah, no, fine.

340
00:14:14,745 --> 00:14:17,314
I'm just pumped up, you know?

341
00:14:17,315 --> 00:14:20,250
I mean, it's not every day
you meet a guy like that.

342
00:14:20,251 --> 00:14:22,019
You know, I mean, he's an absolute ten

343
00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:23,954
in the looks department.

344
00:14:23,955 --> 00:14:27,256
You guys have that whole
Habitat thing going on.

345
00:14:27,257 --> 00:14:28,857
You know? How fun is that?

346
00:14:28,858 --> 00:14:29,858
Right?

347
00:14:29,859 --> 00:14:31,394
Excuse me.

348
00:14:34,398 --> 00:14:35,597
Oh, my goodness.

349
00:14:35,598 --> 00:14:36,933
Can you imagine

350
00:14:36,934 --> 00:14:39,768
how gorgeous your little babies would be?

351
00:14:39,769 --> 00:14:42,471
Todd, we've talked about this.

352
00:14:42,472 --> 00:14:43,838
<i>I like you.</i>

353
00:14:43,839 --> 00:14:45,073
Yeah, but you don't love me.

354
00:14:47,276 --> 00:14:48,476
I... I'm, I'm sorry.

355
00:14:48,477 --> 00:14:49,544
I just...

356
00:14:49,545 --> 00:14:51,346
Being with you has been like a dream,

357
00:14:51,347 --> 00:14:54,382
and I am just so scared
I am gonna screw it up.

358
00:14:54,383 --> 00:14:55,750
Then don't screw it up.

359
00:14:55,751 --> 00:14:59,220
Just be your normal, sweet, charming self,

360
00:14:59,221 --> 00:15:00,387
and everything will be fine.

361
00:15:00,388 --> 00:15:01,621
Hah! "Will be" fine, right?

362
00:15:01,622 --> 00:15:02,756
So you admit everything's
not currently fine?

363
00:15:02,757 --> 00:15:04,058
Todd!

364
00:15:04,059 --> 00:15:05,592
I-I got it, I got it.

365
00:15:05,593 --> 00:15:06,860
Yeah, I got it.

366
00:15:06,861 --> 00:15:09,263
Totally got it.

367
00:15:09,264 --> 00:15:10,630
Hey, hey, hey.

368
00:15:10,631 --> 00:15:12,466
I just wanted to apologize

369
00:15:12,467 --> 00:15:14,034
for, uh, missing our date yesterday.

370
00:15:14,035 --> 00:15:15,869
Circumstances were just cray-cray.

371
00:15:15,870 --> 00:15:16,736
Uh, yeah.

372
00:15:16,737 --> 00:15:17,803
Speaking of cray-cray...

373
00:15:17,804 --> 00:15:19,238
Sorry about this, you know?

374
00:15:19,239 --> 00:15:21,207
Looks painful.

375
00:15:21,208 --> 00:15:23,009
It is, it is, it hurts quite a bit,

376
00:15:23,010 --> 00:15:24,610
but, you know, that's not the painful part.

377
00:15:24,611 --> 00:15:25,644
That's the healing part.

378
00:15:25,645 --> 00:15:26,745
The part below is painful.

379
00:15:28,248 --> 00:15:29,582
You know, speaking of painful,

380
00:15:29,583 --> 00:15:32,685
uh, we were talking about having some...

381
00:15:32,686 --> 00:15:33,953
sex earlier,

382
00:15:33,954 --> 00:15:36,688
and, uh, I just wanted
to know what you're, uh,

383
00:15:36,689 --> 00:15:38,323
what you're up to right now.

384
00:15:38,324 --> 00:15:40,725
Um, no, Phil, I'm actually
gonna hit the hay.

385
00:15:40,726 --> 00:15:43,161
Why would you hit the hay?
Are you mad at it? Boom.

386
00:15:43,162 --> 00:15:44,829
Yeah.

387
00:15:44,830 --> 00:15:46,831
Okay, good night.

388
00:15:46,832 --> 00:15:48,333
Is, uh, Erica around?

389
00:15:48,334 --> 00:15:51,102
Actually, she's, um, she's
gonna turn in, too.

390
00:15:51,103 --> 00:15:53,070
Turn into what? I didn't know
she was a shape shifter.

391
00:15:53,071 --> 00:15:54,238
Boom.

392
00:15:54,239 --> 00:15:55,373
Ha-ha.

393
00:15:55,374 --> 00:15:57,008
Okay, well, good night, now.

394
00:15:57,009 --> 00:15:58,542
Oh, oh, good night.

395
00:15:59,544 --> 00:16:01,445
At the White House?

396
00:16:03,015 --> 00:16:04,781
What a place to be found.

397
00:16:04,782 --> 00:16:06,050
Yeah...

398
00:16:06,051 --> 00:16:07,118
All right!

399
00:16:08,422 --> 00:16:09,487
Okay, do we have everyone?

400
00:16:09,488 --> 00:16:11,122
Raise your hand if you're not here.

401
00:16:11,123 --> 00:16:13,057
All right, ice broken.

402
00:16:14,229 --> 00:16:16,263
Uh, so the reason I called
you all here today is,

403
00:16:16,264 --> 00:16:17,998
- because, as your president...
- Wait.

404
00:16:17,999 --> 00:16:19,266
Wait, what?

405
00:16:19,267 --> 00:16:21,535
Phil's the, uh,

406
00:16:21,536 --> 00:16:23,136
president of the United States, so...

407
00:16:23,137 --> 00:16:24,872
It's a long story.

408
00:16:24,873 --> 00:16:27,173
But it's legit, you know?
Anyway, as you're president,

409
00:16:27,174 --> 00:16:29,108
I just wanted you all to know
that you can always come to me

410
00:16:29,109 --> 00:16:31,043
if you need anything, okay?

411
00:16:31,044 --> 00:16:34,381
And that-that privilege now
extends to you, new guy.

412
00:16:34,382 --> 00:16:36,215
Oh, his name's Phil Miller, Phil.

413
00:16:36,216 --> 00:16:38,251
It should be easy to remember.

414
00:16:38,252 --> 00:16:40,152
The point is, new guy, uh,

415
00:16:40,153 --> 00:16:42,755
you know, if you ever need
anything, come to me.

416
00:16:42,756 --> 00:16:44,289
Well, Mr. President,
what are y'all doing

417
00:16:44,290 --> 00:16:45,357
about electricity?

418
00:16:45,358 --> 00:16:46,525
Uh, generators, obviously.

419
00:16:46,526 --> 00:16:48,527
Next question.

420
00:16:48,528 --> 00:16:50,629
You're in a perfect spot
for wind and solar.

421
00:16:50,630 --> 00:16:52,464
We-we had no idea.

422
00:16:52,465 --> 00:16:54,767
Oh, well, I can take a
look at all that stuff.

423
00:16:54,768 --> 00:16:57,403
Geez, get a room, you two.

424
00:16:59,872 --> 00:17:01,672
Am I right?

425
00:17:01,673 --> 00:17:03,674
I mean, come on.

426
00:17:06,478 --> 00:17:08,012
Okay, I got to go.

427
00:17:09,281 --> 00:17:11,282
jeans tight enough?

428
00:17:13,285 --> 00:17:15,553
Sorry.

429
00:17:15,554 --> 00:17:17,721
Well, well, good news is
you're on a smart grid,

430
00:17:17,722 --> 00:17:20,990
which will help get the
electricity up and running.

431
00:17:20,991 --> 00:17:22,492
Phil, you are a godsend.

432
00:17:22,493 --> 00:17:23,660
Thank you.

433
00:17:23,661 --> 00:17:25,429
Oh, I was talking to the other Phil.

434
00:17:25,430 --> 00:17:27,597
That makes sense, since he
was the one who just spoke.

435
00:17:27,598 --> 00:17:28,432
You know, that's another thing.

436
00:17:28,433 --> 00:17:29,833
This having two Phil Millers

437
00:17:29,834 --> 00:17:31,768
is getting confusing already.

438
00:17:31,769 --> 00:17:33,436
- Yeah.
- Yes, I agree.

439
00:17:33,437 --> 00:17:35,938
Maybe you should both go
by your middle names.

440
00:17:35,939 --> 00:17:37,573
No, no, no, no, no. I was here first.

441
00:17:37,574 --> 00:17:39,775
I'm the president; I should get to be Phil.

442
00:17:39,776 --> 00:17:41,744
Phil, what's your middle name?

443
00:17:41,745 --> 00:17:43,512
Tandy.

444
00:17:43,513 --> 00:17:44,947
T-Tandy?

445
00:17:44,948 --> 00:17:46,449
Yeah.

446
00:17:46,450 --> 00:17:49,685
What kind of
middle name is Tandy?

447
00:17:49,686 --> 00:17:50,785
It's my mother's maiden name.

448
00:17:50,786 --> 00:17:53,555
Was your mother Jessica Tandy?

449
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,591
Yes.

450
00:17:56,592 --> 00:17:58,693
Oh, that's neat.

451
00:17:58,694 --> 00:18:00,194
His mother is not Jessica Tandy.

452
00:18:00,195 --> 00:18:01,463
Oh, you know my lineage?

453
00:18:01,464 --> 00:18:04,298
Phil, what's your middle name?

454
00:18:04,299 --> 00:18:05,266
I don't have a middle name.

455
00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:06,768
Oh, that makes it easy.

456
00:18:06,769 --> 00:18:07,968
So this is Phil,

457
00:18:07,969 --> 00:18:09,770
and this is Tandy.

458
00:18:09,771 --> 00:18:11,538
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

459
00:18:11,539 --> 00:18:12,606
I'm Phil.

460
00:18:12,607 --> 00:18:13,941
Okay, maybe we should

461
00:18:13,942 --> 00:18:15,943
find some kind of competition or something.

462
00:18:15,944 --> 00:18:17,978
You know, something we're
both equally good at.

463
00:18:17,979 --> 00:18:18,946
- Fine by me.
- Okay.

464
00:18:18,947 --> 00:18:20,981
How about a game of, uh,

465
00:18:20,982 --> 00:18:22,516
hm, hm, uh, Jenga.

466
00:18:22,517 --> 00:18:23,484
Never heard of that.

467
00:18:23,485 --> 00:18:24,484
Yeah, neither have I.

468
00:18:24,485 --> 00:18:25,485
So Jenga it is.

469
00:18:46,672 --> 00:18:47,906
Boom.

470
00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:56,481
- Too easy.
Mm-hmm.

471
00:18:57,783 --> 00:19:00,050
If I do this, you're gonna
do that, then do that.

472
00:19:00,051 --> 00:19:01,385
Where are you, my little sweet?

473
00:19:02,988 --> 00:19:03,821
Excuse me.

474
00:19:03,822 --> 00:19:04,889
Mm.

475
00:19:14,032 --> 00:19:15,732
What in the hell, Phil? Let's go.

476
00:19:17,535 --> 00:19:18,868
You should enjoy this, Phil.

477
00:19:18,869 --> 00:19:21,170
This might be the last time
somebody calls you Phil.

478
00:19:21,171 --> 00:19:22,639
I hate to disappoint you,

479
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,107
but I'm about to set in motion

480
00:19:25,108 --> 00:19:27,309
a chain of events that
will leave you shamed,

481
00:19:27,310 --> 00:19:30,547
tamed and without a name.

482
00:19:30,548 --> 00:19:32,681
Oh!

483
00:19:32,682 --> 00:19:34,850
Well...

484
00:19:34,851 --> 00:19:37,019
good game, Tandy.

485
00:19:42,892 --> 00:19:43,892
Hey, Carol...?

486
00:19:43,893 --> 00:19:46,795
Where'd this door come from?

487
00:19:48,397 --> 00:19:50,330
Oh.

488
00:19:51,433 --> 00:19:53,233
Why you all dressed up?

489
00:19:53,234 --> 00:19:55,770
Oh, this?

490
00:19:55,771 --> 00:19:57,972
Oh, it's just how I do.

491
00:19:57,973 --> 00:19:59,907
How about that door, huh?

492
00:19:59,908 --> 00:20:01,141
Phil installed it.

493
00:20:01,142 --> 00:20:03,110
Well, it's a... a little wonky.

494
00:20:03,111 --> 00:20:04,612
Uh, hey, could you

495
00:20:04,613 --> 00:20:06,246
rub some salve on my back for me?

496
00:20:06,247 --> 00:20:07,614
Hm, sorry.

497
00:20:07,615 --> 00:20:09,282
I can't right now.

498
00:20:09,283 --> 00:20:11,051
Oh.

499
00:20:11,052 --> 00:20:12,786
Where you going?

500
00:20:12,787 --> 00:20:15,455
Oh, I'm just taking a
thank-you gift to Phil

501
00:20:15,456 --> 00:20:16,590
for fixing my door.

502
00:20:16,591 --> 00:20:17,624
Oh, you made him some raisin balls?

503
00:20:17,625 --> 00:20:18,925
No, apple pie

504
00:20:18,926 --> 00:20:20,326
with homemade crème fraîche.

505
00:20:20,327 --> 00:20:22,295
There's raisin balls in the
kitchen, if you want them.

506
00:20:23,630 --> 00:20:24,597
Carol?

507
00:20:26,165 --> 00:20:28,834
The apple pie,

508
00:20:28,835 --> 00:20:30,535
the-the makeup, the clothes...

509
00:20:30,536 --> 00:20:32,571
you like this guy?

510
00:20:32,572 --> 00:20:34,807
You jealous?

511
00:20:34,808 --> 00:20:35,941
Of course not.

512
00:20:35,942 --> 00:20:37,209
You know, we're divorced,

513
00:20:37,210 --> 00:20:40,178
and you have the right
to do whatever you want.

514
00:20:40,179 --> 00:20:42,513
Oh, I know.

515
00:20:42,514 --> 00:20:45,483
Good, okay, well...

516
00:20:45,484 --> 00:20:47,018
good night, Carol.

517
00:20:47,019 --> 00:20:49,020
Good night, Tandy.

518
00:20:55,260 --> 00:20:58,146
<i>What is happening here?!</i>

519
00:20:58,147 --> 00:21:00,481
- Synced and Corrected by peterbrito -
- www.addic7ed.com -

